Spiritual Endeavor

Flat Stanley Can Bring Us Together!

I was at Starbucks today to write, read and get my usual drug and while there I was socializing with another customer and her little girl who was getting a treat from Starbucks and just came back from the salon cause she had a great report card. I also socialized with a Barista cause he look like he was gonna cry when he saw the line that was not yet on his drink making side. I realized this socializing or general mass need for coffee was like various species at a watering hole in the Serengeti. Not necessarily all would get along or would normally meet in the real world we all get to be together in NATURE so to speak our modern day nature like malls, grocery stores and coffee shops. Its a way we get our needs filled of being around others but in a non threatening way. Also a way to bond with others I am not sure the lion and the elephant are bonding but at Starbucks there is some common goal or commiserating. Like when many will wait online on Black Friday there is a sense of camaraderie that you can not find in the same way online. We as humans even if slight interaction occurs need a community or group we feel connected to even if its on the peripheral. Hence, the mass love of Apple products or Starbucks or Dunkin‘ Donuts. These are ways we feel like we are together. In a sense maybe there is some of this in the Occupy Movement and like all of us that go home after something we feel apart of we feel we want something to bring us together again. Not like we want catastrophe or natural disasters but we almost crave that community after then when its all over we feel a bit empty or less than and need a meet-up, book club, mommy and me groups to make us feel we belong to something bigger than ourselves.
Here’s to making a concerted effort to come together in fun, love, and coffee if it serves our well-being.

Much love, hugs, and many thanks the Pre-Thanksgiving Day!
Jen

by recompose

This idea about love coming in strange wrapping paper came from my morning’s writing reflection.

Love isn’t always about getting what you want but getting what you need.

I believe this to be true from experience and the soul contracts I see when I work with people. We get into various dramas when living this so-called-life by not taking the lessons and by not taking the bull by the horns and co-creating with God, The Universe or Bob if you want to call IT. I personally love the word God and what God stands for in my heart and soul but plug in any well meaning noun or verb that makes you feel connected and whole. Here are some: Energy, Source, Spirit, Gaia, Mother Earth, Godhead, Buddha, nature, art, music to name a few for your word smith piggy bank…ok on with the show.

I notice in Western Culture we have no problem as a whole being of service or helping others in catastrophe like hurricane, earthquake, or tsunami but on the day-to-day (minus the countless social workers, mental, physical and spiritual health practitioners) many of us forget about the homeless or the old lady in the neighborhood who can’t walk so good. Sometimes we get really caught up in our own stuff that unless something major happens we forget about each other.

I confess my life has been a bevy learning experiences.  At my ripe age of 34 I can say I am TRUELY thankful and awed by my life and what it has shared and taught me. I have been poor, molested, sexually harassed, homeless in childhood and adulthood, various financial woes, romantic misfortunes and have felt abandoned and unloved. All of this sadly is what I needed to WAKE UP to the illusions of my “sick” life and become one with LOVE and Compassion. Some would say that I am nuts to think that my past circumstances were needed to get me to that place and to a degree I would agree it was not necessary at all.

Unfortunately, like a lot of people I made my circumstances and the world my god for a long time. I forgot to put my faith in Love. As if all the yucky and pain the world shows us  is truth. It took many experiences in this lifetime specifically to wake me to that I am ALWAYS loved and guided no matter what. In spiritual terms I got what I attracted if you looked at my core beliefs about who and what I felt about myself. On a soul level I believed illusion that I was alone in the world and that I was destined to be without bread or love.
I am glad this perspective has changed. I am blessed by each and every negative and positive experience I have lived. I can say I learned more from the negative and only because I was not wise to take the lesson in the good instead of the bad.

We can all say that all the murders, and genocide, or political and economic upheaval don’t need to happen but in fact it right now the do only because people at our current state of evolution are not AS motivated by love than they are motivated by pain or fear. I can see a place in the future that we can be motivated by love but it may take some time to evolve past this aggressive or pushiness to motivate change. I can’t say that I want murder, rape ,or food shortages but I can say it would bring neighbors and communities together.

We came together on 9/11 and when the tsunami hit Indonesia, then this past year in Japan and during Hurricane Katrina. WHY in the HELL aren’t we coming together now? We don’t regularly say hello to each other as much anymore, we worry about what clothes to wear instead of his our neighbor is hungry or loved. Do we need 20 pairs of jeans or  tee-shirts? We make it a big political deal to help each other when we are in this together this thing called life. Wouldn’t it behoove ourselves to help each other now instead of when its too late and scream we should have done something. If you have a roof, food in your belly and clothes on your back you all more fortunate than millions in the U.S. and abroad. So getting out of the consumer or bootstrap mentality is to a small degree important its not to say never by nice things or give everyone a new car like on Oprah but if we went to a decent high school we were fed, clothed, and laundered by our families or family friends and we didn’t do it alone. Even if money isn’t what you want to throw at the issue than time, volunteering, education, love and compassion are some of the tools on which to feed each other. Bringing food to a pantry or shelter shouldn’t be too hard either but I don’t want to ask too much. Humph! There is a lesson here I know it.

The Love I received by getting what I needed instead of what I wanted was full of blessings and I can take it that way because my studies in metaphysics opened the idea that this co-creation of what I needed to experience was to a purpose. It was so I could become who I am today and continue to evolve into. I now know that when I receive anything be it a smile from a stranger, a hug from a friend, a book deal or wonderful clients, or even a guy that cuts me off on the highway that it is for my and all of our highest good. It helps all of us my giving us exercises to evolve into a more loving and compassionate state of being. Did I say I like exercise well I like it when its over

Where do you find love and your compassionate heart? Please let us know under the comments below. If  you like this post please share with your friends.

Love and Hugs,

Jennifer

Misfit Dolly

Updates from the past 3 or so months would bore you all to tears, so I am going to say one word. CHANGE!

The word makes me inherently antsy and sometimes for no good reason. I pride myself on having a cool exterior with bouts of hyperactive joy, but underneath I can be super-tense and worked up with no one the wiser! My basket of change has been of change I wanted and change I fear will come. The last bit is really silly since The Present is the only thing we truly have until, oh wait, it’s gone. I am glad I didn’t fret about that last second. Now if I could just let go and let it flow each and every second!

Obviously the world is changing, toward the good, I hope. (I am optimistic even if it can be scary.) The current situations/systems are in upheaval and we cannot see the full outcome. The not-so-ethical and nefarious are being dethroned and the sheep are learning to think or take responsibility for themselves. Not always fun but dang gun it’s exciting! Oh, what a time to be blessed to be alive. We obviously are here at this time for our own and global conscious purpose even if we don’t understand the unfolding and our own part in the puzzle yet.

A friend at work gave me a Misfit Dolly. She still loved her, but she thought it would be fun to bring us 3 misfits in our batcave, a present. A reminder that we have our own island where we take care of each other at least with fun, food, and emotional support. If you want a reference to Misfit Dolly, tune into Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer this holiday season and see the misfit toys sing and dance to be saved by Rudolf and Santa!

Randomness ensues~ the only message I have currently is to myself and all those that need to hear it.

I am Divinely guided and protected. Where I am today is all perfect, whole, and complete. Where I am is where I need to be. Where I am going is where I will be when I am ready to serve with my full value and love. All is well in my world!

Love and Hugs,
Jen

Invisiblity Cloak by robpatrick

Only one person has ever told me he loved me, and then a week or so later he broke up with me. Does that count? LOL It was long ago and it could be troubling if I didn’t think that I was the cat’s pajamas. I don’t always think of myself so highly but I am working on it. I have loved or been infatuated a few times but cupid didn’t strike us at the same time, usually. It’s funny, a friend of mine asked while we were talking in July if a particular person that I was speaking of noticed me. I said yes! Maybe for ego’s sake, or in that moment I thought I was noticed. But really, was I? I mean I guess in the physical sense, he would flirt, swap porn with me, and hug me but not really notice me, not on a core level. Or else dang, he would have seen just how awesome I am! LOL I think most if not all of us crave and long for someone to know the real us even if we go out in the world with disguises. It’s comforting to know someone wants to know you, all of you.
I know most of the time in the past, in jest with friends or hopeful romantic contenders, I would pull out all the stops for people to notice me. Hey, I even have a blog for Pete’s sake! Anybody notice? Thanks to the select few who read me. I get occasional new people, but beyond the Google and Yahoo Bots, the attempts at getting people to notice are not working. I need to market better.
Sometimes in my real life I feel missing even though I am in a room with people that I know love and care for me. My invisibility cloak turns on even when I don’t want it to. Depends on the moment-I have less of those experiences when people aren’t in competition for the group’s attention. I love group gatherings; it feels great to have tradition, family, and a sense of belonging. I love one-on-one conversations that get to the meat of other people. It’s hard to find the core of someone when distractions abound. I know for a fact my true friendships are kept sacred when we share one-on-one time.
This epiphany, I guess, is the forever seeking what I felt was missing. Wondering why I couldn’t give this to myself. Was it in the mechanism? I have to say that reconnecting to my poetry, my journals, and a feeling that maybe a few of you on- and off-line are listening has filled me immensely. Maybe that is why I wanted to be an actress for so many years, so people would notice. Maybe that is why I wanted to be a singer/songwriter. I want people to know ME even though most will only know the surface.
I could list the possible causes of my affliction, maybe due to lack of attention from Mom or a father figure. Maybe because there hasn’t been romantic love in my life as of yet that shows me who I am in their eyes. Maybe it’s that even though I am outgoing, I am private with who I REALLY am. I have to be able to be patient and show myself with trust that someone wants to know me. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to let go of the whys and continue to listen to myself more and express myself in artistic or other noble ways. Not seeking, not craving, just being.
I am friendly. I care about others. I am not more deformed than most. LOL I don’t think I have to be more obnoxious to be noticed! The performer in me disagrees loudly. I have tried that in the past; it doesn’t work and really, if anything, it annoys people. Not my intention except when I am actually looking to be silly or funny. I have to remember to be me. Sometimes I am quiet, reflective, funny, emotional, silly, loud, affectionate, and outrageous among other things. I guess this post is about loving myself enough not to push who I am onto others but also to build people into my life who want to know who I am, even when I have trouble talking about myself. Having a strong faith that when the time is right, as romance is concerned, the special someone for me will notice me and those words that I heard long ago will be made real. Oh Yeah!
Love and Hugs,
Jen

Black and White to Color by Thiophene_Guy

It’s amazing how time flies. I remember when I was in high school wanting to marry my then love and have like 6 kids, I saw the world as very black and white. Then I grew older, and slightly more grey etched into my view when more and more people (including me, much to my dismay) made choices that weren’t so moral or ethical in contrast to my past viewpoint. My spiritual philosophies have changed and grown ever more expansive in hopes to be less judgmental of others and myself. Deleting dogma and trying to stay in the present moment were apart of those changes. As I get even older and more experiences fill my life, I realize that I am, at once, not one thing all the time. I am a hypocrite. I am righteous. I am judgmental. I am obnoxious. I am loving. I am affectionate. I am a jokester. I am serious. I am sensitive. I over think and don’t think at all. I can get upset quickly and get over things quickly. I am friend and foe. I mumble. I sometimes talk with eloquence and sometimes sound like an idiot. I humiliate myself constantly when it comes to giving too much info about how I am feeling or thinking. My friends say, Here is the line and here is Jen Heart. Knowing that I have crossed the line yet again, I am comic relief for my perversions or outlandish speech. I am glad I am an idealist even if life circumstances or situations aren’t ideal. I am a good person with some bad tossed in for flavor. Some days I do way better than others. I try (Yoda says there is no try) to make choices in my life that won’t hurt others or myself. I sometimes do hurt people without intention. I am grayer still; it’s better than being 100% black in my thinking.

In the blink of a moment life can change. I meet someone and sparks fly and fire licks up and down my whole body. I meet really great people who end up in the friend zone within 30 seconds. Best friends for years leave when challenged to take sides, such as when we are reminders of old times after a divorce. I left relationships that were my everything, even when there was so much history, love, and friendship. Leaving due to feeling invalidated, and feeling like I never had a voice. The older I get, the more I know that major life events change dynamics, and sometimes just time changes things. New friends can come into my life and eventually either become totally enmeshed in my world or fade out.

A friend who knew me when I was greener about life (when I was about 16 to 23) by fate and opportunity contacted me again. It’s amazing how different and similar we both are to the people we were oh so long ago. My friend-who-knew-me-when started to inch back after my mom’s passing. She loved my mom and Mom always loved her. I can’t believe it’s been 3 years since my mom’s stroke. I know sometimes I express more of a dark view of my mom. I saw the sides she never showed to the outside and being a caregiver to her there is still some charge of not being cared for in the way I needed or wanted. Even for all the yucky stuff, I know my mom was an awesome, spectacularly strong, inventive, intelligent, sweet and loving woman. She was so generous in giving appreciation or wanting people to smile that she would give gifts to even the cashier at the grocery store. My mom made a lasting impression on people even if she met them for just 5 minutes. After her passing, I had the duty of contacting her business contacts or people she would chat with on the Internet. My mom was a mix of a social hermit. I get that from her, I assume. Where is my hole to hide but first I must dance with my comrades. Ha-Ha! Mom’s social network were the people she would sell to, help out, or give away things to on the Internet. So many of her Net friends showed so much love and told me how much she touched them. Those e-mails reminded me that she wasn’t the completely horrible person or parent I made her out to be. Less grey even still, I grow. Soon life will be all white by the time I am dead and gone.

Mom taught me so many things about people, how to see people in their brightest light even when they weren’t showing it at the moment. She taught me how to change my thinking and see the situation change when all I did was think about it from a different often positive or learning perspective. The black and white of her was that she was not always mentally available or financially stable for me. I was a great love in her life, as was my brother, but many times when I was expressing an emotion or myself in a way she didn’t want me to be she’d tune me out, literally. The grey in all my negative circumstances is that I got so much from her by her not being the perfect parent. I gained strength, knowledge, and the ability to love the imperfect, among so much more. The hardest part is throwing that unconditional love my own way or even at those whom I judge harshly for things that I may do under the right “lighting” or “motive.”

I never talk about it but I feel it’s important for others to know that it’s OK to ask how I am doing when it comes to Mom’s death. I know people don’t know what to say. Don’t want to bring it up for fear of making me upset. I know everyone is different and deals with death in a very personal way. I still don’t know what to say to other people when they lose someone dear. The times of thinking about Mom grow in longer stretches but I still am sad that she won’t be here when I am in a relationship with the love of my life, see me get married, or even have babies. I am so happy she got to dance with my brother at his wedding. I am happy that she got to live with me (even though it was brutal and nearly killed me) and she got to live with Billy and Lisa. We all had the chance to see the best and the worst of her to the bitter end. I know I am blessed to have had her be my teacher, my mother, and friend.

After all these years I can see I am different but similar. I still want to marry but have reduced the number of kids in my mind down to two. Realism of cost and actual time to devote to my kids; I want to give everything I never had. Those things like quality time, validation, listening to who they are and what their needs/feelings entail, resources, and security to name but a few. I know I already love them more than the moon and the stars. I can’t see them but I know they are waiting for me to get my act together. Ha-ha! Whenever that may be. I want to give them everything so they can be the best people they are meant to be. I want to devote my life to those I love, my friends, my lovers, and my passions in poetry, song, and pure creation. I want to be better than I am now but be OK and love myself even if I am not perfect. I want to show that life is better in the grey. It might not be easier but better, that I can attest to.

We are ever changing; who we are, our lives, and obviously our world is changing so quickly we sometimes can hardly breathe. I want to breathe more but I also want my breath taken away more. Here’s to the grey and all the colors that make life so not boring and far more complicated and exciting than I ever could have imagined.

Love and Hugs,
Jen

Goo by Steve A

Most of us have the instinct of fight or flight. We come with a built-in system. If things aren’t feeling too good, we want to run away in case some tiger will eat us. When it comes to human relationships, this instinct comes out when we are in a super state of joy, insecurity, anger, wounding, or knowing that it’s time to get out of a situation for true happiness isn’t there. Within this delicate place where emotions can run amuck and without protective gear, we may be hit by flying emotional goo. There is a place where true intimacy and vulnerability can thrive. This place of opening up to others at risk of being hurt is a necessary evil in order to cross over to the land of true emotional intimacy.

Intimacy takes time because trust, communication, and understanding, as well as chemistry, need to build points of safety but sometimes after years if you don’t have it you may never have it. I know this from old relationships where I would give years over to someone, mind, body, and soul, and it was never reciprocal. I could say I wasted time but we had fun, some laughs, and I had many tears but most importantly I learned through those experiences what I need in a loving relationship.

What happens if the other party isn’t ready, willing, or able to cross the bridge with you into the rewarding but scary place of connection? Choices are endless—leave, stay, be in limbo forever—but in truth, even though it’s scary, our need to fill our emotional coffer is a package deal with romantic love. Even with true friendship, the exchange of truthful emotional expression is needed for a real relationship to flourish.

We all know someone (maybe ourselves) who may or may not admit they are looking, waiting, and keeping busy until true love comes in. We all disguise this want because in the 21st century it is noble to be independent and not want others in our lives to enhance breathing on Earth. There are some that may be perfectly content to be emotionally alone. There is nothing wrong with people who don’t want that aspect of living; however, I am not one of them. Like a newborn, I am in constant need of emotional availability from others and myself. Connection is what feeds me and without even a smidgen of it I would surely die. I am not trying to be dramatic but at 31 years old, I know what I need and want.

Self preservation has its purpose in order to keep ourselves fed and sheltered, but the wall that protects our hearts must come down in order to grow and really feel connection to the people we want in our little worlds. We honor those we love by letting them into how we think, feel, dream, and who we are, warts and all. It is a gift to give them our experience in the way we as individuals see the world. Views can be the same or very different, but it can only be true intimacy if we are authentic and truthful even in spite of our fears.

I am hopeful that I will have what I desire in intimate relations. I have but a tiny group of people where my wall crashes completely down and they see all the scars, imperfections, and love I have to give. I am hopeful that I will have that in my romantic life someday as well.

Here is to keeping my heart open for true intimacy with all my relations and not to be fearful of not being loved, being authentic, and most of all being myself.

Love and Hugs,
Jen

I love how interesting people or people whom I find interesting (which is everyone) get together in magical ways to create or add pizzazz to my day. I am a fan of Neil Gaiman. I was haphazardly introduced to The Sandman when visiting my (ex-boy then friend at RPI) where very cool architecture students would be into so much cool shit. Art, design, music, and sci-fi all forms of awesomeness in creative endeavors. The kind of sci-fi that peaked my interest and wasn’t of the Robert Aspirin or Asimov of my mom’s tastes. One girl, an anomaly at RPI (girls, that is) who my friend’s roommate was dating, talked about The Sandman. I was intrigued and jealous of this college girl even though I am sure I was nearly the same age. I wanted into that artistic coven. Although that portal to my future was not meant to be, I learned much from those artistic fellows through the brief encounters I had with them. Neil was one of them. I follow his blog now to keep up with the old scamp and gain a little creative juice. Check out his journal or website, you’ll be happy that you did. He’s written many things beyond The Sandman, including Batman in various film adaptations and in states of woe.

My friend Jay, who works at my brother and sister-in-law’s toy store, turned me onto Amanda Palmer. Jay is great at finding music and has good taste. He likes Tool and Tori Amos and, well, he’s tattooed. We could go on about the fine qualities of Jay but we will turn to Amanda, the woman he introduced my brother to from The Dresden Dolls. In turn, because I have idolized my brother to a fault since birth, the music that he imparts my way usually grabs me by the soul and doesn’t let go. The Dolls have a fab drummer, Brian, raw and amazing and, then there is Amanda. Ahahahaahahaha! Amanda. She is coming out solo for the moment on September 16. Helped by the producing stylings of Ben Folds. Awesome!

What is even more awesome is that Amanda enjoys a little band named They Might Be Giants. In addition to her admiration of TMBG’s Flood album, Depeche Mode, The Smiths, and others are among many fine bands that cover her MySpace page.

Then two great artists meet. Neil and Amanda working on the Who Killed Amanda Palmer book together. Dark, haunting, sexy, and intelligent—adjectives to describe the child of the two, and I will love to look into that book.

Bringing all of this to the present: one of my good friends, Aaron, blogged today and he referenced another blogger/poet/musician I had never heard of Saul Williams.

I investigate my friend’s reference. I am sure he has mentioned him in conversation before but lost the name and today it is readily available for me to download. My friend’s taste in music is vast and has many layers of overlap with my sensibilities. So I trust his taste immensely. Sure enough, Saul Williams is a brilliant writer and crazy brilliant for collaborating with one of the hottest men and greatest musicians to walk the earth today, Trent Reznor. But that isn’t the coolest part. Today, looking at Amanda Palmer’s MySpace page, I found the Neil Gaiman pic of them on a roof. I looked down at one of her commenting fans, “Eric,” referencing another blog she did about Saul Williams and how she thinks he FUCKING ROCKS! WTF?!!! Really . . . REALLY! Damn this solar eclipse and the universe—it is super trippy with all the emotions, creativity, and change that is going on for me and I am sure many of you.

All this is very odd, as in July I was bored and looking up stuff to do to meet new people and guys with similar interests who are cool and cute. So anyway, I joined Meet-Up looking for poetry or singing–song writing groups. I have written poetry for forever and had fantasies of being a singer/performer like everybody else and figured meeting like-minded friends would be a good place to open my horizons. I have yet to go to a meeting, mind you. July has been busy.

Maybe it’s only trippy in my world how things go to together and maybe you can’t see or feel the thread I do. It makes me feel that yeah, the Universe is so freaking BRILLIANT and astonishing, how everyone every second of every day isn’t in awe how we get to where we are going by our own choices and by the Universe throwing bombs or mines around us to get us to move in a direction that obviously makes our hearts sing or motivates us to grow and serve others. Art, music, communication are all ways we serve each other.

I wish I were as intelligent and artistic as all those featured in my post. As of yet I am not, but I am willing to strive for my artistic, intellectual, and spiritual pinnacle so others may be inspired by me or helped or comforted in some way, however it is I am expressing myself at the time. I enjoy writing, poetry, song, dance, talking, feeling, living, and laughing. I would love to paint myself on canvas literally but need a tarp and safe body paint to do it properly in my bedroom. But until I get naked and paint . . .

Today is just a day when I am in awe of my friends in the world who spark things inside of me, and in sharing my cherubs with you, I hope sparks fly out of you, too!

See your own amazing thread and see where it takes you! Please share!

Love and Hugs,

Jen

How do the stars affect our present life? Well, in simplified terms there are certain sparks, interests, life goals, as well inclinations on talents, things to grow and learn from to be gleaned from reading your natal chart. By studying a chart similar to mine, you can see where someone’s focus lies based on positions of planets within certain houses and such. Some people think astrology is some BS that just prevents people from taking charge of their own lives. I think if you know yourself better, then you can make better choices in your own life. One way to get to know yourself better is your astrological chart.

I am not talking about the horoscopes in a newspaper or magazine, as they just correlate a person’s sun sign and at best a few key items that affect the majority in that sign. A natal chart shows the true complexities of a person. The chart can show possible wishes, desires, past karma, and aptitudes. I know many people who do not fit their sun sign’s descriptive qualities, hence the daily horoscope in your paper may not be the best basis for decisions in your life.

A great place to check your own chart for free is Astro.com. You can also, if you know someone else’s birth information, find out about close compatriots in your life. To learn even more about the details of astrology houses, planets, and all you can check out CafeAstrology.com.

Love and Hugs,

Jen

Aries – Monday – 6/16/2008 – Soul Horoscopes

Coming back to life after a power struggle within myself. Looks like things are on the upswing as my mood is back to enthusiastic levels again. I find life with its ebbs and flows reminds me about my personal philosophies in addition to A: a horoscope and B: a stranger’s judgment.

Truth is always stranger than fiction and this week I was told I will be tested on my spiritual or life philosophy and realizing that I have my own magic to make and it’s OK if no one believes in my magic as long as God and I are on the same page.

A recap for all those not keeping score: I once was a Catholic girl, not too many short plaid skirts in my closet now although I have a nice Rosary collection. I believe God exists but not the way that is most traditional. I believe that Jesus lived on Earth and was a Highly Evolved Spirit that came to teach us. However, I do not think God started and stopped talking when Jesus came. I think we needed Jesus but if the message wasn’t clear from Him, there are many teachers out there spreading a similar if not the same message dressed up all fancy.

I think all, even people who are “evil,” have God-stuff in them or are of God-stuff but for various reasons unknowable to all of us they do negative works. (Beyond the surface ego stuff like they need money, are greedy, angry, blah blah blah.) I believe that the Universe is governed by many laws; some of them are Attraction, Paradoxical Intent, Karma, and many more. I also believe that with faith, hard work, and positive thinking, you can be and do whatever you want. I think what you may want depends on your purpose on Earth and not everybody needs to be a rock star in order to be somebody. I think everybody is Somebody for the uniqueness they bring into the world or else they wouldn’t be in this tapestry we call life.

I had a phone interview this week, which brought a very unusual situation to speak my mind when asked about my philosophies. It’s strange that if I don’t follow the same code of life or how God works, the way I see it I lose out on an opportunity because they decided they didn’t want me thinking differently. I have no hard feelings, as it was God’s test for me. I know a brighter future is out there for me. The silly part about the situation is that I am like the spiritual U.N. I try not to judge and enjoy people for who they are, especially if they are different from me. I hang out with atheists who are wonderful, intelligent, good, ethical people. I also hang out with very cool, down-to-earth Born Again-ers, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Agnostics, Christians, Episcopalians, Catholics, or general non-affiliates. Now working with super-negative people takes its toll on me, but wherever I am meant to serve I will go. If I need a spiritual cleanse I know what to do now.

To me everyone is on Earth for his or her purpose and usually even unconsciously we are all connected to someone else’s purpose. We are never separate from each other. Authors need readers, musicians need listeners, products need buyers, lovers need lovers, friends need friends, we need trees and trees need us. Happy Tree Hugger, aren’t I!

If bad things happen, I can guarantee that the pendulum will swing and good will come back stronger. Now the good that comes back may not be seen by all at the time, but eventually down the road, like 20/20 vision, most will see the good that comes out of a negative situation. Choices, decisions, or circumstances affect all things. We must make an effort to trust the process like a mama bird trusts that her baby will fly as she pushes her baby out of the nest. Trusting that the Universe/God will have your back is good for your mental health. To think one is condemned, for example: what would give anyone the recourse to change their life if all there was was a dead end and pitchforks?

Judgment for all the bad in the world is not my job. That is for the Prime Mover to know. To me God knows all the details and the reasons, whys, and hows, and has UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for all of it. I believe there is a purpose for the “negative” in the world as well. It’s our job to listen to our intuition and use the spark within us to do good works, and ask for guidance to help the world and its issues. My job is to do the very best to not be a part of the problem without becoming closed off from the world. My job as well is to add joy and love to the planet. Jesus hung out with the people most people don’t want to hang out with because He loved them just the same! I like that and strive to love everyone the same, especially when they seek to harm others or me.

I am sure, since I was hung up on, that I made a fiend instead of a friend and only hope that said stranger reduces judging others, lest ye be judged. I am like Charlotte, I think everyone is a friend in my heart even if they do not feel the same for me.

Love and Hugs,

Jen

Lightning on the Columbia River by phatman

This week has been very interesting and humbling. I am still looking for work, income, or a way to make money from my poetry or creative endeavors. Sold my car to a very wonderful family in Jersey City. I even hope to continue a friendship with these very interesting people. Got great tips about traveling to India and Japan from my Hyundai’s new adopted family.

Tuesday evening my roommate Jeanette and I had a major storm and lost power for about 3 days. We had some food spoilage but overall we fared well. Candlelight and peace from the computer was nice. Heat was something to contend with but really nothing tragic in the grand scheme of things. Friends offered help and/or words of encouragement. Finished 2 books and almost done my 3rd one.

My humility comes from asking for help from many sources including God. Not that I was asking God to save my hot dogs but for me to find my own peace about my current life challenges. Many things happen to many people, including financial worry and lack of electricity. I still can’t say enough about the book that I raved about in my last post, Left To Tell. It reminds me of prayer and gratitude, the genocide that is happening now in Darfur, and awakening to my own American entitlement and spoiled nature. I used to think because of my past that I was humble. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I was and still am blessed beyond measure to live in the U.S. even with its faults. I am blessed that my cross(es) that I bear have been to say the least minimal or blown out of sorts by my own negative thinking or lack of self-confidence. Positive thinking and faith are keys to success, my friends. I am also in awe this week of those who really do have strong faith and an ability to forgive and love freely at all costs or all rewards depending on your perspective.

I pray this feeling of humility and personal/spiritual power continues.

I would love it if you would speak about your own blessings in your life. Please share! I love to hear good news!

Hugs,
Jen