Spiritual Endeavor

by recompose

This idea about love coming in strange wrapping paper came from my morning’s writing reflection.

Love isn’t always about getting what you want but getting what you need.

I believe this to be true from experience and the soul contracts I see when I work with people. We get into various dramas when living this so-called-life by not taking the lessons and by not taking the bull by the horns and co-creating with God, The Universe or Bob if you want to call IT. I personally love the word God and what God stands for in my heart and soul but plug in any well meaning noun or verb that makes you feel connected and whole. Here are some: Energy, Source, Spirit, Gaia, Mother Earth, Godhead, Buddha, nature, art, music to name a few for your word smith piggy bank…ok on with the show.

I notice in Western Culture we have no problem as a whole being of service or helping others in catastrophe like hurricane, earthquake, or tsunami but on the day-to-day (minus the countless social workers, mental, physical and spiritual health practitioners) many of us forget about the homeless or the old lady in the neighborhood who can’t walk so good. Sometimes we get really caught up in our own stuff that unless something major happens we forget about each other.

I confess my life has been a bevy learning experiences.  At my ripe age of 34 I can say I am TRUELY thankful and awed by my life and what it has shared and taught me. I have been poor, molested, sexually harassed, homeless in childhood and adulthood, various financial woes, romantic misfortunes and have felt abandoned and unloved. All of this sadly is what I needed to WAKE UP to the illusions of my “sick” life and become one with LOVE and Compassion. Some would say that I am nuts to think that my past circumstances were needed to get me to that place and to a degree I would agree it was not necessary at all.

Unfortunately, like a lot of people I made my circumstances and the world my god for a long time. I forgot to put my faith in Love. As if all the yucky and pain the world shows us  is truth. It took many experiences in this lifetime specifically to wake me to that I am ALWAYS loved and guided no matter what. In spiritual terms I got what I attracted if you looked at my core beliefs about who and what I felt about myself. On a soul level I believed illusion that I was alone in the world and that I was destined to be without bread or love.
I am glad this perspective has changed. I am blessed by each and every negative and positive experience I have lived. I can say I learned more from the negative and only because I was not wise to take the lesson in the good instead of the bad.

We can all say that all the murders, and genocide, or political and economic upheaval don’t need to happen but in fact it right now the do only because people at our current state of evolution are not AS motivated by love than they are motivated by pain or fear. I can see a place in the future that we can be motivated by love but it may take some time to evolve past this aggressive or pushiness to motivate change. I can’t say that I want murder, rape ,or food shortages but I can say it would bring neighbors and communities together.

We came together on 9/11 and when the tsunami hit Indonesia, then this past year in Japan and during Hurricane Katrina. WHY in the HELL aren’t we coming together now? We don’t regularly say hello to each other as much anymore, we worry about what clothes to wear instead of his our neighbor is hungry or loved. Do we need 20 pairs of jeans or  tee-shirts? We make it a big political deal to help each other when we are in this together this thing called life. Wouldn’t it behoove ourselves to help each other now instead of when its too late and scream we should have done something. If you have a roof, food in your belly and clothes on your back you all more fortunate than millions in the U.S. and abroad. So getting out of the consumer or bootstrap mentality is to a small degree important its not to say never by nice things or give everyone a new car like on Oprah but if we went to a decent high school we were fed, clothed, and laundered by our families or family friends and we didn’t do it alone. Even if money isn’t what you want to throw at the issue than time, volunteering, education, love and compassion are some of the tools on which to feed each other. Bringing food to a pantry or shelter shouldn’t be too hard either but I don’t want to ask too much. Humph! There is a lesson here I know it.

The Love I received by getting what I needed instead of what I wanted was full of blessings and I can take it that way because my studies in metaphysics opened the idea that this co-creation of what I needed to experience was to a purpose. It was so I could become who I am today and continue to evolve into. I now know that when I receive anything be it a smile from a stranger, a hug from a friend, a book deal or wonderful clients, or even a guy that cuts me off on the highway that it is for my and all of our highest good. It helps all of us my giving us exercises to evolve into a more loving and compassionate state of being. Did I say I like exercise well I like it when its over

Where do you find love and your compassionate heart? Please let us know under the comments below. If  you like this post please share with your friends.

Love and Hugs,

Jennifer

Thanks to Foxtongue for showing his muscle!

Anyone who knows me knows that exercise where I know I am exercising is my least favorite activity in the world. I much prefer dancing, hiking, kyacking, or walking with friends than to be lifting my kettle bell or weights. This to the dismay of my body is the reason my muscles are partially defined under a nice hibernation suit. I joke but a muscle that use on a constant basis is my FAITH Muscle. As and intuitive its imperative that what I know to be spiritual and helpful information is not lost in the stactic of my mind like chores, worry, blank stares and who will the Mother on How I Met Your Mother.

Many people really don’t have a solid perspective on faith or they are of the mindset if they see it than maybe they can believe it for certain for now.

One of my jobs, besides being a dancing queen, is to really show people that their internal guidance system can show them how to build faith in positive outcomes and if so inclined that an intelligent universal source is always with you and can be accessed at anytime.

A quick practice of building faith is to think of a time when you knew in your gut that something felt very right or very wrong. Write that down…then check to see what route you took that time if you took directions from fear or worry or took a new route. For example, recently my guides were nudging me to take my car to the mechanic. I knew I had to bring it to the shop but I keep putting it off. Well on Valentines Day it broke down completely random event of a timing belt..I didn’t see that coming I thought my axle rod thingy was the need. I didn’t follow the pull to take it in sooner because of earth woes, money worry and what if I fix it and it needs more. Blah Blah Blah we all do this. I did have it fixed to minimum road survivability and took the lesson again to trust my gut, guides and have faith that the information being received isn’t random but helpful if taken seriously.

Their is also this bigger idea, Faith in Source, God, or whatever you want to call this energy. I may have been born with the God Gene so maybe I have a built in system for acknowledging the invisible but I think when a person focuses on taking the positive from experiences, having gratitude and keeping an open mind a Divine Intelligence doesn’t seem very far fetched. Especially when testing manifesting goals and seeing positive outcomes. I am not here to say yes there is or is not a big bearded guy in the sky but I do feel that the study of the universe in quantum physics can show that something is very intelligent or something designed the universe in a creative way. Or maybe I just have build enough of my faith muscle to just know it is so anyway.

How are ways you build or have faith? Please post we would love to hear from you.

Love and Hugs,

Jen

Black and White to Color by Thiophene_Guy

It’s amazing how time flies. I remember when I was in high school wanting to marry my then love and have like 6 kids, I saw the world as very black and white. Then I grew older, and slightly more grey etched into my view when more and more people (including me, much to my dismay) made choices that weren’t so moral or ethical in contrast to my past viewpoint. My spiritual philosophies have changed and grown ever more expansive in hopes to be less judgmental of others and myself. Deleting dogma and trying to stay in the present moment were apart of those changes. As I get even older and more experiences fill my life, I realize that I am, at once, not one thing all the time. I am a hypocrite. I am righteous. I am judgmental. I am obnoxious. I am loving. I am affectionate. I am a jokester. I am serious. I am sensitive. I over think and don’t think at all. I can get upset quickly and get over things quickly. I am friend and foe. I mumble. I sometimes talk with eloquence and sometimes sound like an idiot. I humiliate myself constantly when it comes to giving too much info about how I am feeling or thinking. My friends say, Here is the line and here is Jen Heart. Knowing that I have crossed the line yet again, I am comic relief for my perversions or outlandish speech. I am glad I am an idealist even if life circumstances or situations aren’t ideal. I am a good person with some bad tossed in for flavor. Some days I do way better than others. I try (Yoda says there is no try) to make choices in my life that won’t hurt others or myself. I sometimes do hurt people without intention. I am grayer still; it’s better than being 100% black in my thinking.

In the blink of a moment life can change. I meet someone and sparks fly and fire licks up and down my whole body. I meet really great people who end up in the friend zone within 30 seconds. Best friends for years leave when challenged to take sides, such as when we are reminders of old times after a divorce. I left relationships that were my everything, even when there was so much history, love, and friendship. Leaving due to feeling invalidated, and feeling like I never had a voice. The older I get, the more I know that major life events change dynamics, and sometimes just time changes things. New friends can come into my life and eventually either become totally enmeshed in my world or fade out.

A friend who knew me when I was greener about life (when I was about 16 to 23) by fate and opportunity contacted me again. It’s amazing how different and similar we both are to the people we were oh so long ago. My friend-who-knew-me-when started to inch back after my mom’s passing. She loved my mom and Mom always loved her. I can’t believe it’s been 3 years since my mom’s stroke. I know sometimes I express more of a dark view of my mom. I saw the sides she never showed to the outside and being a caregiver to her there is still some charge of not being cared for in the way I needed or wanted. Even for all the yucky stuff, I know my mom was an awesome, spectacularly strong, inventive, intelligent, sweet and loving woman. She was so generous in giving appreciation or wanting people to smile that she would give gifts to even the cashier at the grocery store. My mom made a lasting impression on people even if she met them for just 5 minutes. After her passing, I had the duty of contacting her business contacts or people she would chat with on the Internet. My mom was a mix of a social hermit. I get that from her, I assume. Where is my hole to hide but first I must dance with my comrades. Ha-Ha! Mom’s social network were the people she would sell to, help out, or give away things to on the Internet. So many of her Net friends showed so much love and told me how much she touched them. Those e-mails reminded me that she wasn’t the completely horrible person or parent I made her out to be. Less grey even still, I grow. Soon life will be all white by the time I am dead and gone.

Mom taught me so many things about people, how to see people in their brightest light even when they weren’t showing it at the moment. She taught me how to change my thinking and see the situation change when all I did was think about it from a different often positive or learning perspective. The black and white of her was that she was not always mentally available or financially stable for me. I was a great love in her life, as was my brother, but many times when I was expressing an emotion or myself in a way she didn’t want me to be she’d tune me out, literally. The grey in all my negative circumstances is that I got so much from her by her not being the perfect parent. I gained strength, knowledge, and the ability to love the imperfect, among so much more. The hardest part is throwing that unconditional love my own way or even at those whom I judge harshly for things that I may do under the right “lighting” or “motive.”

I never talk about it but I feel it’s important for others to know that it’s OK to ask how I am doing when it comes to Mom’s death. I know people don’t know what to say. Don’t want to bring it up for fear of making me upset. I know everyone is different and deals with death in a very personal way. I still don’t know what to say to other people when they lose someone dear. The times of thinking about Mom grow in longer stretches but I still am sad that she won’t be here when I am in a relationship with the love of my life, see me get married, or even have babies. I am so happy she got to dance with my brother at his wedding. I am happy that she got to live with me (even though it was brutal and nearly killed me) and she got to live with Billy and Lisa. We all had the chance to see the best and the worst of her to the bitter end. I know I am blessed to have had her be my teacher, my mother, and friend.

After all these years I can see I am different but similar. I still want to marry but have reduced the number of kids in my mind down to two. Realism of cost and actual time to devote to my kids; I want to give everything I never had. Those things like quality time, validation, listening to who they are and what their needs/feelings entail, resources, and security to name but a few. I know I already love them more than the moon and the stars. I can’t see them but I know they are waiting for me to get my act together. Ha-ha! Whenever that may be. I want to give them everything so they can be the best people they are meant to be. I want to devote my life to those I love, my friends, my lovers, and my passions in poetry, song, and pure creation. I want to be better than I am now but be OK and love myself even if I am not perfect. I want to show that life is better in the grey. It might not be easier but better, that I can attest to.

We are ever changing; who we are, our lives, and obviously our world is changing so quickly we sometimes can hardly breathe. I want to breathe more but I also want my breath taken away more. Here’s to the grey and all the colors that make life so not boring and far more complicated and exciting than I ever could have imagined.

Love and Hugs,
Jen

I love how interesting people or people whom I find interesting (which is everyone) get together in magical ways to create or add pizzazz to my day. I am a fan of Neil Gaiman. I was haphazardly introduced to The Sandman when visiting my (ex-boy then friend at RPI) where very cool architecture students would be into so much cool shit. Art, design, music, and sci-fi all forms of awesomeness in creative endeavors. The kind of sci-fi that peaked my interest and wasn’t of the Robert Aspirin or Asimov of my mom’s tastes. One girl, an anomaly at RPI (girls, that is) who my friend’s roommate was dating, talked about The Sandman. I was intrigued and jealous of this college girl even though I am sure I was nearly the same age. I wanted into that artistic coven. Although that portal to my future was not meant to be, I learned much from those artistic fellows through the brief encounters I had with them. Neil was one of them. I follow his blog now to keep up with the old scamp and gain a little creative juice. Check out his journal or website, you’ll be happy that you did. He’s written many things beyond The Sandman, including Batman in various film adaptations and in states of woe.

My friend Jay, who works at my brother and sister-in-law’s toy store, turned me onto Amanda Palmer. Jay is great at finding music and has good taste. He likes Tool and Tori Amos and, well, he’s tattooed. We could go on about the fine qualities of Jay but we will turn to Amanda, the woman he introduced my brother to from The Dresden Dolls. In turn, because I have idolized my brother to a fault since birth, the music that he imparts my way usually grabs me by the soul and doesn’t let go. The Dolls have a fab drummer, Brian, raw and amazing and, then there is Amanda. Ahahahaahahaha! Amanda. She is coming out solo for the moment on September 16. Helped by the producing stylings of Ben Folds. Awesome!

What is even more awesome is that Amanda enjoys a little band named They Might Be Giants. In addition to her admiration of TMBG’s Flood album, Depeche Mode, The Smiths, and others are among many fine bands that cover her MySpace page.

Then two great artists meet. Neil and Amanda working on the Who Killed Amanda Palmer book together. Dark, haunting, sexy, and intelligent—adjectives to describe the child of the two, and I will love to look into that book.

Bringing all of this to the present: one of my good friends, Aaron, blogged today and he referenced another blogger/poet/musician I had never heard of Saul Williams.

I investigate my friend’s reference. I am sure he has mentioned him in conversation before but lost the name and today it is readily available for me to download. My friend’s taste in music is vast and has many layers of overlap with my sensibilities. So I trust his taste immensely. Sure enough, Saul Williams is a brilliant writer and crazy brilliant for collaborating with one of the hottest men and greatest musicians to walk the earth today, Trent Reznor. But that isn’t the coolest part. Today, looking at Amanda Palmer’s MySpace page, I found the Neil Gaiman pic of them on a roof. I looked down at one of her commenting fans, “Eric,” referencing another blog she did about Saul Williams and how she thinks he FUCKING ROCKS! WTF?!!! Really . . . REALLY! Damn this solar eclipse and the universe—it is super trippy with all the emotions, creativity, and change that is going on for me and I am sure many of you.

All this is very odd, as in July I was bored and looking up stuff to do to meet new people and guys with similar interests who are cool and cute. So anyway, I joined Meet-Up looking for poetry or singing–song writing groups. I have written poetry for forever and had fantasies of being a singer/performer like everybody else and figured meeting like-minded friends would be a good place to open my horizons. I have yet to go to a meeting, mind you. July has been busy.

Maybe it’s only trippy in my world how things go to together and maybe you can’t see or feel the thread I do. It makes me feel that yeah, the Universe is so freaking BRILLIANT and astonishing, how everyone every second of every day isn’t in awe how we get to where we are going by our own choices and by the Universe throwing bombs or mines around us to get us to move in a direction that obviously makes our hearts sing or motivates us to grow and serve others. Art, music, communication are all ways we serve each other.

I wish I were as intelligent and artistic as all those featured in my post. As of yet I am not, but I am willing to strive for my artistic, intellectual, and spiritual pinnacle so others may be inspired by me or helped or comforted in some way, however it is I am expressing myself at the time. I enjoy writing, poetry, song, dance, talking, feeling, living, and laughing. I would love to paint myself on canvas literally but need a tarp and safe body paint to do it properly in my bedroom. But until I get naked and paint . . .

Today is just a day when I am in awe of my friends in the world who spark things inside of me, and in sharing my cherubs with you, I hope sparks fly out of you, too!

See your own amazing thread and see where it takes you! Please share!

Love and Hugs,

Jen

Different point of view by tonythemisfit

As always when I am looking or am open to signs from the Universe, many tiny threads of synchronicity show up. They usually pop up to either teach me something, inspire me to take action, or give me guidance that I am following the right path. This week I feel the signs and here are a few things that are getting me inspired.

I am reading The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell, I know a little behind the times or maybe just right when I needed to read it. Another wonderful inspiration who injected caliente flavor back into my life, my favorite nerdy cutie, Tim Ferriss. He inspires me to travel, and love life and myself again, Here is this week’s post of Why Bigger Goals = Less Competition via his blog. Last but not least, from my DVD collection, the movie My Date With Drew.

The themes within each of these inspirations are connected or highlighted by various signposts. Sometimes these signs need translation. As an intuitive and empath, I can see threads in my own life when I am not blocking life. For others it tends to be easier as I am not “emotionally invested” in a particular outcome. I know that everyone has seen or felt these signs and we get either excited by them or scared and brush them off. My hope is to inspire others to open up to life in order to listen to these markers. In the past I had really clear markers on my own intuition and mistook them for things that they weren’t. That’s the trouble with translating the intangible sometimes. Through experience I learned that I needed not to push what I wanted onto the signposts and let life move me to my next destination.

These connections help me dream big impossible dreams like the Man from La Mancha. Tim says one should go for the bigger impossible dreams due to less competition. Drew Barrymore speaks of taking risks and loves that she may be a marker of fate that inspires Brian to go after his dreams (one of which was to have a date with Drew). The Tipping Point helps show the interconnectivity of our emotions and energy and their ability to change the flow of things, like Hush Puppies’ popularity, Paul Revere spreading news of the British invasion, or help being provided after a tsunami.

Sometimes I get an idea or person stuck in my head like Tim Ferriss. My intuition is turned on “repeat” on a topic until I ask, So what is the message? As interesting as Tim seems, there isn’t a logical reason for me to continue to be pulled by his aura, especially since I have never met him. Other times when I get a stomachache or can’t sleep, I know something is up and wait for news. Before I moved out of my apartment in Montclair, NJ, I wasn’t sleeping well and had dreams of a fire. A few days later my ceiling caved in on my boo-boo kitty. Luckily he was OK. He is sleeping right beside me now like a good boy. After I moved out, there was a fire in the building directly next to my old apartment. Signs are good as long as you know what to do with them. I was lucky that the ceiling inspired a move so that Shadow and I would not be engulfed in flames.

My best friend Meghan told me recently that one of the things she likes about me is my ability to dream. She has known me since the 10th grade and has seen many dreams come out of my head. I bet she is laughing right now. I think Tim on repeat has a lot to do with reminding me to take life by the cojones. It could mean I am on the right path as long as I continue to listen and see signs of feeling good about where I am headed.

I have many dreams and aspirations. Here are my main priorities this year.

• To find a great sustaining love with an intelligent, funny, caring, and cute guy that will eventually lead to marriage, kids, the whole shebang.
• To find work that helps others and incorporates flexibility, possible travel, communicating with many different cultures, and reigniting my Spanish and French. I have a phone interview tomorrow for a job as described. Eek, so excited!
• I intend to learn more about how I can personally contribute to my favorite charities. One especially dear to my heart is the medical fund at Start II, an animal rescue group that saves abused and abandoned animals.
• I also intend to publish my poetry, write more poetry, post blogs, seek freelance writing assignments, and start outlines for two or three book ideas.

Intuitive signs and inspiration even came when I named this blog way back in March 2007. My brother and I were sitting in my office looking for open domain names. I knew I wanted the direction of the blog to be spiritual but not necessarily religious, and my brother noted I had this quote by Henry David Thoreau on my wall.

If people advance confidently in the direction of their dreams,
and endeavor to live the life which they have imagined,
they will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

God love Thoreau, that man really knew how to live! I love how these connected threads show me how to live an inspired life and to follow my dreams. Godspeed to live the way you always dreamed.

Love and Hugs,
Jen

Aries – Monday – 6/16/2008 – Soul Horoscopes

Coming back to life after a power struggle within myself. Looks like things are on the upswing as my mood is back to enthusiastic levels again. I find life with its ebbs and flows reminds me about my personal philosophies in addition to A: a horoscope and B: a stranger’s judgment.

Truth is always stranger than fiction and this week I was told I will be tested on my spiritual or life philosophy and realizing that I have my own magic to make and it’s OK if no one believes in my magic as long as God and I are on the same page.

A recap for all those not keeping score: I once was a Catholic girl, not too many short plaid skirts in my closet now although I have a nice Rosary collection. I believe God exists but not the way that is most traditional. I believe that Jesus lived on Earth and was a Highly Evolved Spirit that came to teach us. However, I do not think God started and stopped talking when Jesus came. I think we needed Jesus but if the message wasn’t clear from Him, there are many teachers out there spreading a similar if not the same message dressed up all fancy.

I think all, even people who are “evil,” have God-stuff in them or are of God-stuff but for various reasons unknowable to all of us they do negative works. (Beyond the surface ego stuff like they need money, are greedy, angry, blah blah blah.) I believe that the Universe is governed by many laws; some of them are Attraction, Paradoxical Intent, Karma, and many more. I also believe that with faith, hard work, and positive thinking, you can be and do whatever you want. I think what you may want depends on your purpose on Earth and not everybody needs to be a rock star in order to be somebody. I think everybody is Somebody for the uniqueness they bring into the world or else they wouldn’t be in this tapestry we call life.

I had a phone interview this week, which brought a very unusual situation to speak my mind when asked about my philosophies. It’s strange that if I don’t follow the same code of life or how God works, the way I see it I lose out on an opportunity because they decided they didn’t want me thinking differently. I have no hard feelings, as it was God’s test for me. I know a brighter future is out there for me. The silly part about the situation is that I am like the spiritual U.N. I try not to judge and enjoy people for who they are, especially if they are different from me. I hang out with atheists who are wonderful, intelligent, good, ethical people. I also hang out with very cool, down-to-earth Born Again-ers, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Agnostics, Christians, Episcopalians, Catholics, or general non-affiliates. Now working with super-negative people takes its toll on me, but wherever I am meant to serve I will go. If I need a spiritual cleanse I know what to do now.

To me everyone is on Earth for his or her purpose and usually even unconsciously we are all connected to someone else’s purpose. We are never separate from each other. Authors need readers, musicians need listeners, products need buyers, lovers need lovers, friends need friends, we need trees and trees need us. Happy Tree Hugger, aren’t I!

If bad things happen, I can guarantee that the pendulum will swing and good will come back stronger. Now the good that comes back may not be seen by all at the time, but eventually down the road, like 20/20 vision, most will see the good that comes out of a negative situation. Choices, decisions, or circumstances affect all things. We must make an effort to trust the process like a mama bird trusts that her baby will fly as she pushes her baby out of the nest. Trusting that the Universe/God will have your back is good for your mental health. To think one is condemned, for example: what would give anyone the recourse to change their life if all there was was a dead end and pitchforks?

Judgment for all the bad in the world is not my job. That is for the Prime Mover to know. To me God knows all the details and the reasons, whys, and hows, and has UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for all of it. I believe there is a purpose for the “negative” in the world as well. It’s our job to listen to our intuition and use the spark within us to do good works, and ask for guidance to help the world and its issues. My job is to do the very best to not be a part of the problem without becoming closed off from the world. My job as well is to add joy and love to the planet. Jesus hung out with the people most people don’t want to hang out with because He loved them just the same! I like that and strive to love everyone the same, especially when they seek to harm others or me.

I am sure, since I was hung up on, that I made a fiend instead of a friend and only hope that said stranger reduces judging others, lest ye be judged. I am like Charlotte, I think everyone is a friend in my heart even if they do not feel the same for me.

Love and Hugs,

Jen

Well, well, little miss I hate doing anything that expends energy. Speaking to myself of course. I used to be so efficient (umm lazy), so much so that when I went to take in the laundry from the laundromat I would nearly kill myself my carrying two 30 lbs bags up the stairs just so I wouldn’t have to go up and down again. Awake again from a life coma, I know that hard work is in order to claim what I want in life. If I want to manifest things in my life like being 112 lbs, writing an e-book for ending depression, making more than enough money than I will ever need and finding a fabulous guy to date and eventually marry, I have to do the leg work. Manifesting takes many angles. One, is the affirmative thought one has the goal attained with belief. Another the feeling(s) you have as if the goal is achieved and doing the leg work by changing thinking and behavior to meet the universe more than halfway to reach said goal. Finally the trickiest part, the ability to let go of control, give up the result (No feeling like you will die if you don’t accomplish or attain) and be patient.

All those things I have been able to do rather unconsciously and others times really push through and sometimes give up when the going got to “hard”. Now my mind set is clearer and stopping on my journey is not an option. Knowing what I want helps a great deal, still fuzzy on some stuff but over all have a better idea now more than ever. My mind and body fight me at times but my Spirit says I am Already There. The great thing about Spirit is that it knows no obstacle or resistance. Us humans have that luxury. After working out to a brutal Killian Michaels workout today and reading T. Have Eker is that, being fully committed to a goal be it fitness, love, money, adding contribution to the world, ________ fill in the blank, takes effort. That doesn’t mean you won’t have somethings fall on your lap but for the most part the doing creates the accomplishment. The belief or the knowing that it already IS, is just the visual your mind and body need to believe Spirit when it says It is already So!

As I kick myself and love myself, I ask do I have what it takes to do the hard work? Do I want these goals bad enough to challenge the status quo, without the easy, fries with that shake? How about you, you may work at a job that you hate because its easy. Do you avoid dating because someone may actually challenge your thinking or mirror yourself? Or hey maybe they will love the way you laugh and you have to deal with that?

Do you really think your gonna win the lotto if you don’t get off the couch and drive so far away to the 7-11 and purchase one. Neither is sitting on the couch and wishing for the inches to disappear while watching the Biggest Loser. I know, I tried and it didn’t work. *Tear* I guess I am working out to be steamy hot. At least I am stronger, faster and I have the technology to manifest again and again.

I hope I have stirred within that makes you say to yourself, Go Big or Go Home!

Love and Hugs,
Jen

Stability is funny. I look at stability as something one makes for themselves with the people and things they surround themselves with. My own journey to stability has been a process. My childhood was riddled with endless moves, I mean seriously, 18 times before my 18th birthday and I was no Army Brat. I had quite a lot of anxiety as a kid. We never had a lot of money so meals were inventive and filled with Taylor Ham and Mac and Cheese. I was so tense as a kid and had a feeling that we would have a fire and loose everything. I used to wear my clothes to bed in fear I would lose everything and nothing left. Ironic because when I was 12 the shoe dropped again in my life and all I had was what I was wearing when me and my mom were homeless in Florida. Please don’t pity me, even though it was tough and sucky for a kid to go through, I know what I value in life due to these experiences.

As an adult I own very few things possibly because I fear that at any moment I may move or some natural disaster will take it all away. Or really the fact is I know that I own things but they do not own me. I used to be OBSESSED with magazines so much so from about 1991 to 2007 I would take my articles (even those of which I never read) with me from every move. They were like my security blanket of control. I know metaphysically I have control of my life but for much of life I gave my environment and external stuff power to give me a sense of control and stability. Hence we all love rituals and the familiar corner Shop Rite or Dunkin Donuts to make us feel like we are home. Thank God for an Ice coffee with mocha swirl syrup and moo! A reason why I liked Catholicism so much is for its architecture and design for ritual.

Currently I don’t need things to make me feel stable but enjoy them to enhance my life. That is probably why I only own what I can fit into a small bedroom. I will probably be a bohemian vagabond for life even if I have a central home life and responsibilities for the rest of my years. Wanderlust will always be inside me and possessions will just be toys to play with. Shoes! Lets get um!

My life is provided stability by the relationships of love and friendship that I have. No matter what, I know there are a select few that if the ship went down they would go down with me gleefully. Well at least we would be supporting and laughing each other during the trails of the day. I loved my mom and although it was inordinately tough to deal with her, she still gave all the love she had to me and my brother. Our family journey helped me see that stuff really doesn’t matter as much as the people in your life. Mind you I still love paper products known as books and my poetry and journals. I love my Mac and sometimes a fierce pair of shoes but I know I love my loved ones so much more and would give up all my “stuff” if I had too for them.

I hope your own journey of stability brings you back to what truly matters. People, Books, and furry things of course!

Love and Hugs,
Jen

A while back say in 2005 I came across the personality tests that help you see your personality and help you find a career. It assessed me as INFPs (Healer Idealists). Over the years I have struggled with my need to be motherly to others, protect myself from self serving people, as well as, find meaningful work. In 2005 I took this test during a time of great stress. My job was sucking the life out of me and my mom left the the good earth from a stroke rather quickly. This left me unable to fully grasp what the assessments were speaking of. Now in 2008 and after more than one struggle to find peace in work I found my print-outs of those assessments. I am not trying to be all high and mighty however, others have told me that I always have been a person of great caring, compassion, and patience with other’s dramas, foibles, pain always feeling a connection to certain people that seemed to need… a person whom would listen, not judge and love or understand them in their time of need. All the times I would meet these people in grocery store lines, at work or a random calling for me to say a kind word to a stranger. A month or so ago I got a quick one question psychic reading about my path in life and he said without knowing me or my personality profile – If I find something to be passionate about in the healing arts, spiritual healing and such. That would be a great area to put my compassion to use. I am open to the possibility now that I may or may not do this for work as I do this so automatically with people but to get paid for it would be a bonus. Now my future goals include studying healing modalities like Reiki and other energy modalities as well as continuing my mothering love and counsel. Even at a party this week-end I was speaking to a girl I had never met said I should be a life coach.

PS • The Unity church has sparked my interest of late. They believe in the inclusion of all people and the power of your thinking. I think it is a another way to show people how to change their lives through positive affirmation of faith in God/Universal Source Energy, a name by any other name would smell as sweet, and how their thinking can help bring about profound changes in a person life.

I am moving toward the person I was born to be and I am loving it LOL

Other goals: to write more, to live more and to love more.

Love and Hugs

Jen

Today is National Meditation Day! All day and night many are joining in silent intention to create thought energy for more Peace, Love, Ecology and Positive Change in the world. It is so basic in metaphysics that we are all connected beyond the physical. We also know our thoughts and feelings create our physical reality. This is a perfect day to show the world that one doesn’t need swords to fight the negatives. All one needs, is Positive Affirming and Visualizing of what We/Ourselves desire. As we ask or affirm our intention we ask for the greatest and highest good for all so the Universe, God, Source, Mother and Father God can organize the intention for ITs highest purpose. Its nice to say for highest good cause if you weren’t precise in the asking it can help cover the bases that you can’t fathom or may miss.

Love and Hugs

Jennifer