Spiritual Endeavor

Somaly Man and Sheryl Sandberg by Fortune Live Media

I was inspired to write after a meditation session and asking the question of why suffering even the mundane trails many of us feel on the day to day or extreme suffering. I was led to read an awesome article by Mariane Pearl in Glamor Magazine circa 2006.

Somaly Mam is a former child sex slave and an a front line fighter and global advocate with her foundation to fight Monday Slavery and Sex Trafficking. In 2006, retaliation for her fight to protect women and children came in a most deplorable way. Mam’ s 14 year old her daughter was kidnapped and raped. She was found but it did not deter Somaly even though scary and frightening it made her more determined. Somaly after they found her daughter and she comforted her she spoke these words “You’ve suffered what you’ve suffered,” she told her. “Now you take that pain and you help others.”

Suffering a universal phenomenon and yes we all have suffered and the past be changed, but pain unused eats you alive. It is your job to use your pain to help others and in turn you will be healed.

When I read those words and knowing their is a semi luxury to chose to feel pain over a long period of time I realized how selfish I was. Chemical imbalances aside you do have control over your thoughts with practice. I say this when context is one is no longer in the trenches of the horrible or inconvenient. This is so true for mindfulness transformation if you are not seeing every blessing ever bestowed on you then you suffer and triumph is when you are directed to make a difference and not wallowing in my own shit.

Nowadays my “shit” hasn’t bubbled up much, except when I feel vile contempt for other drivers or maybe my lack of smile with strangers or general feeling of avoidance. But really what we all do from time to time is we sit and cuddle with our shit for far too long. Like being bosom buddies and bffs with the bad girl in school, this friendship with our own woe is me stuff is what keeps us from doing good. Even the business of daily life is a part of the woe is me martyrdom syndrome or can’t take time for me or you but we have to be everywhere like yesterday so sorry can’t talk, hug, engage or even look you in the eye right now.

My understanding of suffering now to change it to gratitude and love expressed or not and how can I use what ever nugget of pain big or small, perceived or real for the good of all. Service, help, and being awake to what is happening in the Now and not so distant past. To be present when someone wants to engage with you, to connect to another in a small way so both of you feel less alone. Almost always reason why you are here is to shine your light in your own UNIQUE way to help the world with your smile, laughter, financial assistance, skills, love or other treasures.

How do you use your pain?

If you are depressed help  anyone else, be of service in any area you feel a difference almost instantly. If you felt victimized in some way become an advocate, a voice for those who have been what you have been through, be it sexual abuse, homelessness, poverty, addiction, in physical pain- be an healer in word or deed. If you dislike people, animals or the Earth could use your services instead. 

I believe in miracles but world wide suffering is a different ballgame. I find the idea that we need a savior that will change the way things are is comical and removes the responsibility of each of us. We are called by Source be a participant to save others by easing suffering; being there for those who have been through a storm or giving a stranger your attention for a few minutes. That is the nature of love that will transform the world.  We are invited by our own wounds and if we were blessed not to have any wounds, then we are called to what touches us makes us cry or shake in empathy for another.

My call to action is so simple it seems childish. Children are the ones who have the brightest light shinning with radiant joy and laughter and a knowing what true love is.  I hope you will feel through experimentation that your suffering can be eased by being of service to another. It doesn’t mean you have to save the world just start by being a little more open to smiling at people on the street or in cars, donating money or time to those who need you.

Much love and gratitude,

Jen

If you want to make a donation to one of my favorite causes please visit the Somaly Mam Foundation.

Flat Stanley Can Bring Us Together!

I was at Starbucks today to write, read and get my usual drug and while there I was socializing with another customer and her little girl who was getting a treat from Starbucks and just came back from the salon cause she had a great report card. I also socialized with a Barista cause he look like he was gonna cry when he saw the line that was not yet on his drink making side. I realized this socializing or general mass need for coffee was like various species at a watering hole in the Serengeti. Not necessarily all would get along or would normally meet in the real world we all get to be together in NATURE so to speak our modern day nature like malls, grocery stores and coffee shops. Its a way we get our needs filled of being around others but in a non threatening way. Also a way to bond with others I am not sure the lion and the elephant are bonding but at Starbucks there is some common goal or commiserating. Like when many will wait online on Black Friday there is a sense of camaraderie that you can not find in the same way online. We as humans even if slight interaction occurs need a community or group we feel connected to even if its on the peripheral. Hence, the mass love of Apple products or Starbucks or Dunkin‘ Donuts. These are ways we feel like we are together. In a sense maybe there is some of this in the Occupy Movement and like all of us that go home after something we feel apart of we feel we want something to bring us together again. Not like we want catastrophe or natural disasters but we almost crave that community after then when its all over we feel a bit empty or less than and need a meet-up, book club, mommy and me groups to make us feel we belong to something bigger than ourselves.
Here’s to making a concerted effort to come together in fun, love, and coffee if it serves our well-being.

Much love, hugs, and many thanks the Pre-Thanksgiving Day!
Jen

by recompose

This idea about love coming in strange wrapping paper came from my morning’s writing reflection.

Love isn’t always about getting what you want but getting what you need.

I believe this to be true from experience and the soul contracts I see when I work with people. We get into various dramas when living this so-called-life by not taking the lessons and by not taking the bull by the horns and co-creating with God, The Universe or Bob if you want to call IT. I personally love the word God and what God stands for in my heart and soul but plug in any well meaning noun or verb that makes you feel connected and whole. Here are some: Energy, Source, Spirit, Gaia, Mother Earth, Godhead, Buddha, nature, art, music to name a few for your word smith piggy bank…ok on with the show.

I notice in Western Culture we have no problem as a whole being of service or helping others in catastrophe like hurricane, earthquake, or tsunami but on the day-to-day (minus the countless social workers, mental, physical and spiritual health practitioners) many of us forget about the homeless or the old lady in the neighborhood who can’t walk so good. Sometimes we get really caught up in our own stuff that unless something major happens we forget about each other.

I confess my life has been a bevy learning experiences.  At my ripe age of 34 I can say I am TRUELY thankful and awed by my life and what it has shared and taught me. I have been poor, molested, sexually harassed, homeless in childhood and adulthood, various financial woes, romantic misfortunes and have felt abandoned and unloved. All of this sadly is what I needed to WAKE UP to the illusions of my “sick” life and become one with LOVE and Compassion. Some would say that I am nuts to think that my past circumstances were needed to get me to that place and to a degree I would agree it was not necessary at all.

Unfortunately, like a lot of people I made my circumstances and the world my god for a long time. I forgot to put my faith in Love. As if all the yucky and pain the world shows us  is truth. It took many experiences in this lifetime specifically to wake me to that I am ALWAYS loved and guided no matter what. In spiritual terms I got what I attracted if you looked at my core beliefs about who and what I felt about myself. On a soul level I believed illusion that I was alone in the world and that I was destined to be without bread or love.
I am glad this perspective has changed. I am blessed by each and every negative and positive experience I have lived. I can say I learned more from the negative and only because I was not wise to take the lesson in the good instead of the bad.

We can all say that all the murders, and genocide, or political and economic upheaval don’t need to happen but in fact it right now the do only because people at our current state of evolution are not AS motivated by love than they are motivated by pain or fear. I can see a place in the future that we can be motivated by love but it may take some time to evolve past this aggressive or pushiness to motivate change. I can’t say that I want murder, rape ,or food shortages but I can say it would bring neighbors and communities together.

We came together on 9/11 and when the tsunami hit Indonesia, then this past year in Japan and during Hurricane Katrina. WHY in the HELL aren’t we coming together now? We don’t regularly say hello to each other as much anymore, we worry about what clothes to wear instead of his our neighbor is hungry or loved. Do we need 20 pairs of jeans or  tee-shirts? We make it a big political deal to help each other when we are in this together this thing called life. Wouldn’t it behoove ourselves to help each other now instead of when its too late and scream we should have done something. If you have a roof, food in your belly and clothes on your back you all more fortunate than millions in the U.S. and abroad. So getting out of the consumer or bootstrap mentality is to a small degree important its not to say never by nice things or give everyone a new car like on Oprah but if we went to a decent high school we were fed, clothed, and laundered by our families or family friends and we didn’t do it alone. Even if money isn’t what you want to throw at the issue than time, volunteering, education, love and compassion are some of the tools on which to feed each other. Bringing food to a pantry or shelter shouldn’t be too hard either but I don’t want to ask too much. Humph! There is a lesson here I know it.

The Love I received by getting what I needed instead of what I wanted was full of blessings and I can take it that way because my studies in metaphysics opened the idea that this co-creation of what I needed to experience was to a purpose. It was so I could become who I am today and continue to evolve into. I now know that when I receive anything be it a smile from a stranger, a hug from a friend, a book deal or wonderful clients, or even a guy that cuts me off on the highway that it is for my and all of our highest good. It helps all of us my giving us exercises to evolve into a more loving and compassionate state of being. Did I say I like exercise well I like it when its over

Where do you find love and your compassionate heart? Please let us know under the comments below. If  you like this post please share with your friends.

Love and Hugs,

Jennifer

Flat Stanley's Spirituality is Travel. What's yours?

I think the word Spirituality has a bad rap. Many confuse it with Religion or people being cooky or flighty. I want to give a refresher on what it means to me and how by looking at spirituality in a new way can help you feel less alone and more alive on this spinning rock.

Spirituality as defined by me isn’t about a big man in the sky or even a belief system.  It is the primary way you connect to yourself and/or  to others. For many people who don’t believe in a religion per say has a religion of sorts via their passions and appreciations and that is their have spirituality in the world. Many people are engrossed in art,  music, dance, being in service, collecting books, building things, knitting, and so on.
Passion that emanates out of nowhere or that is found by accident is spirituality in a nut shell. When you can not not do or love a particular thing. A friend might love all of nature. That is her spirituality. For another its passion for physical sport or challenge. My passions are writing and reading about metaphysics. As a kid I would talk with my Mom on how the universe worked and even at my cheeky age of 6 or 7 vehemently denied her closed view of what happened after we leave our bodies.  I enjoyed playing with friends, having a talk show, playing with my recorder but I loved to connect with people on a deep level beyond what someone’s favorite color much more. Those are some of my passions and that is how I continue to live my Spirituality.
By denying your gifts or appreciation for boating, hiking, painting or sharing dinner with friends you are in essentially cutting of your connection to Source Energy. In offering to share your passion with others, people see this light and are attracted to that spark and that what brings more rich and positives experiences in your life. Hobbies or your life  as a whole are the living worship to this spiritual life. As you speak or live from your soul you are sharing your appreciation and creating more beauty with the world.

Maybe your passion is Jesus, Buddha, art, children, family, Star Wars, or laughing. The label task is not important. It is no more or less life giving than being a monk in a monastery. Your “thing” or “things” are a very real way to connect your unique energy with Universe. Being present within your passions is an amazing way to share yourself with others while show casing the eternal flame inside of you that never dies.

I hope you bring more joy and happiness by focusing on a passion a tiny bit each an every day!
Please let me know what your passions are and how you feel you live your Spirituality!
Love and Hugs,

Jen

A million and one blessings and such!

What? Yes I said it even though I am in amidst of a crisis there is blessings to be found.

My particular crisis details are not so important as the lesson of the crisis. I have been feeling anxious, unsettled, crazed for concrete confirmation and proof that my life will be OK. As an intuitive and know-er of things as such, I know it doesn’t matter what happens in the physical world as it is all for the good for the whole even if it doesn’t look like it..However, my ego, the thing that is supposed to protect the body is scared!

During this crisis I have learned a few things about myself.

1. I am a caretaker to a fault where I do not take care of myself before others…I am starting to work on this nugget of truth at Co-Dependence Anonymous meetings. My goodness there really is so much to learn about how to have healthy relationships with everyone.
2. As much as I may espouse in the goodness, affirmative prayer, and awesomeness of the Universe and God I don’t always live in faith. I whine and act fearful and complain on occasion. Sometimes I feel unworthy and unacceptable of gifts in strange or normal wrapping paper.

Today I was feeling static and yucky all in my head with worry and problems. I took a bit of meditation time to tap into the awesome God energies and listening to what they had to say as well as listening to Hay House Radio and also Marie Forleo. Gratitude is everything. Being grateful for the yucky stuff as well as recognizing even what may seem insignificant blessings. After I focused on being grateful for the lessons being shown though my crisis my energy shifted immediately. Not only did the static, anxious, worry go away I have a new appreciation for the gifts that I am being given. I know really hard t do when you are panicking when you have no permanent place to stay, no job so forth. I am there right now with my Brothas’ and Sistas’. For example this time in my life I am called to have understanding and compassion for those feeling troubled and have a block of moving forward due to fear.. A recognition that this particular lesson won’t be lost as I am finally doing things to take care of myself as not to put myself in this situation again. This time also shows me to have faith even if by some act of God (natural disaster or karma down the pike) I know I am (We all Are!) Divinely guided, protected, and loved even in the worst times. This is a blessed time. Maybe in your own personal issues you too can claim with confience a new realtionship with God as you see IT! Whether you commune with nature, Love Jesus, Allah, or you want to call IT Bob.. the name doesn’t matter, it matters that you open the floodgates of your heart to know you are an infinite vessil for love to come and express ITSELF into the world. How you choose take the yucky stuff and transform it is how the Good stuff arrives and thrives.

So today I say Thanks You GOD for the lesson. Thank You for my crisis ever painful it is and Thank You for always being my constant companion.

Love and Hugs,

Jen

My socks on the floor ready to be purged!

Over the past few months I have been staying with a friend with her two children. Since I am still looking for full time employment she lets me stay in exchange of dropping off and picking up her kids at school and occasional babysitting with additional house chores I feel compelled to do. Living in a space no bigger than 10×14 I had to leave most of my belonging at my ex’s familie’s house. They all are amazing for being so patient with me as I gain order over my life again. I am due to move in with another girlfriend July 1st. During this time since October I have lived with very few personal items: clothes, computer, books, and a few random items like journals, too many pens to really need and holy water. (A recovering Catholic loves her holy water.)
This sock drawer enhanced my realization that there is a need to replace things that don’t fit or are damaged but I have obviously have more than enough in the world and thinking about reducing what I have to really the bare essentials. I do my laundry every week and like the 80/20 ware much of my clothing on a continuous loop. In part because I don’t have much and or who needs all these socks. Even if I work out everyday and get my feet wet due to snow or rain…some of this I don’t need. So my first duty is to get rid of the ones with holes or ones that have been stretched to mars and back.

I will be doing this for undergarments and then clothes. Then products and medicines. I only want things around that are useful and make me happy. If that means I wear the same pants three days this week so be it.

Wish me luck and please let me know if you have given up any of the extra stuff in your life and how it made you feel.

Love and Hugs,
Jen

Thanks d.billy!

Yesterday picking up my friend’s kids up from school we went to that Mc place for some food. I know, terrible aren’t I, I don’t eat it anymore but they requested it. We get to the board and the girls give me their order. L wants chocolate milk then wants regular milk. She finally says regular milk and our order is finished at the speaker box. 10 seconds later as I am driving to the pick up window I hear crying. I asked “Whats wrong?” L says she now wants chocolate milk. I told her that I already ordered regular milk and said she has to be clear of what she wants before the end our order not after. I told her I would ask if they would give us chocolate milk but she can’t get upset if they can’t make the change for her so late in the game. Thankfully the cashier gave us her chocolate milk and all was right in the world again.

This experience reminded me on how I ask for things from the Universe and now completely understand why they don’t come to me or if they do but I get weird confused version. Being very clear about what I truly want has always be a challenge. I experience the world rather quickly and I can get side tracked or attracted to shinny without any steadfast discipline or value system behind my intentions or thoughts when it comes to my personal long term goals. I have general values but none I rely on to gauge whether I truly want something or not. This is true for many people who ask God or the Universe to answer their prayers or dreams. Clarity and intention are a key component on attracting what you desire. This is true for relationships, money, work, health, spirituality and so on.

Are you clear on what you really want your life to feel, be, and look like?

If you are not satisfied in a particular area check out how it feels so you can examine it to determine if you are sending out thoughts and vibrations that may be getting lost in translation or confusion. For example, I have been saying for years I want to lose weight. During some of that time I even have gained even more weight. Not really what I was asking for Universe. *hum* Am I really kidding myself on this desire? In part yes…Why? Well I am conflicted by so many food options Raw, Vegan, Low Carb ect. I chose to exercise on a whim not with planned action and on top of that I am a tad lazy. I’m tired, I don’t wanna prepare food and all that jazz. Whine! Whine! My desire to be healthy and thinner were not always congruent with my actions and what I really wanted. I could go into the psychological about why I haven’t lost weight,  but in terms of our purpose about attracting our desires some where deep down I have blocks to losing weight. Hence with every DVD and food plan available to me I still have not FULLY Chosen to lose weight. This example can be used to see the truth behind not getting what you want for romance and career and more as well.

Once choice is fully engaged the universe give us infinite assistance in every way imaginable to achieve our goals. Bumps in the road happen due to soul lessons and/or varying stages of intention but You Can Have, Be, and Feel anyway you want to but that choice has to come from you.  Isn’t Free Will the best!  :)

Love and Hugs,

Jen

UPDATES GALORE!!!

I am heading to Panama in December 2010. My first trip out of the country. I am very excited and hope you join me on my adventures. There will be a bit of tweeking the blog’s visuals and content..Stay tuned!

Many thanks for use of this photo By HelloMokona

On to my current lessons on how I am being schooled by life. Yeah there is a feeling of Good, Bad and Blah but its all positive since it is sending me on my journey with new ideas, tools, and experiences in my pocket for long road of life ahead.

A year has passed, and one LTR has ended-amicably. Now for the first time in over a year and a half or more if you count before I met my last love I am focusing on the future of my life I find myself awakening to my lessons that abound from that relationship and from my previous 33 years on Earth.

Here is the data so far:
RELATIONSHIP WITH SELF- This is how I enjoy my self, how interested in my own wishes, dreams, goals, self love (te-he) and so on are directly reflected in the outer world experiences of relationships of all kinds. Friendships not excluded.

Friends/Romantic partners see me in a certain way. Some of those relationships evolved in contrast to how I take care or feel about myself. Some love me more than others some demand that I take care of my self more and others are oblivious to how I take care of myself. The point being here the level of intimacy my personal relationship have are in direct correlation to how intimate and close I am with myself.

HAPPINESS-I have learned a great deal about the abstract that is happiness. One thing I learned is that it has to come from within or I/Anyone will be perpetually unhappy no matter what gifts are offered to him or her. Happiness is a choice but it also can not come from outside circumstances. This means your personal happiness is not determined by outside influences. For example someone says you are super awesome or a piece of garbage you can chose to not be burdened by someone else’s opinion of you if it does not reflect your true inner feeling about yourself.

LOVE-Being in love with someone is never enough to hold a relationship together. It does take two people to continue to choose each other daily. Holding on too tight will almost always crush what love is present. With open arms and hands and that freedom is what keeps love fresh and alive. I am not talking about threesomes or open relationships but freedom to be yourself as well as have separate space and time. Some people enjoy every breath of each other, while others need more distance in time and proximity from each other to see the contrast and value of the other. Neither is right or wrong just a understanding of each persons needs to help the flower of love grow.

NEEDS- I learned that it is very important to ask another what they need in order for the other person to feel loved and I should get the same respect in return. Some people enjoy words of flattery, others actions or interest or curiosity bestowed on a beloved. Learn what your counterpart needs,  don’t just give them what you need. Understanding the mirror of relationships helps you figure out you but in healthy relationships this mirror is a two way street.

COMMUNICATION and TRUST- The two most important items for healthy relations ever invented. Cave man grunts showing that he wants to watch tv after work to unwind…Cave woman has a need to chat about the foraging or that she is upset that cave man is cranky all the time but doesn’t know why…Communicating needs, issues, and being fully commited to the process of being a healthy participant in the relationship is a necessity. Trusting your partner will open up and be honest when speaking of needs or criticism is crucial to keep resentment, anger, or a life time of unhappiness or the death of a relationship will occur.

I hope you Love Big, Love Often, but most importantly learn about what you your personal needs are in order to feel loved and give that to yourself as well as asking your partner to do their part in adding to your happiness. After you have loved yourself again and again the bonus of the cuddling with your sweetie will become even more sweet knowing that you always had everything you ever needed to feel loved, inside of you. You just needed to give that to her(him).

Post Script-Self respect and calling out those who disrespect and devalue you can be liberating if not done just to validate your hurt feelings but actually awaken parts of you that need to reemurge. Talking  back personal power, claiming dignity for one’s self is one of the most important things in the world for self love. Living with integrity and keeping the personal ego in check can and will bring in healthier and healthier relationships the more you get to know and treat yourself to a cup of tea and some care.

Love and Hugs

Jen

Rubber Ducky Your the One!

Hey Ya’ll I have been busy with a wonderful life  changes and my  self care and my blog take a back seat for a hot minute.

Some life changes: Have been unemployed for way too long. Soon to be a school girl again.  Another change was meeting and then moving in with my wonderful man Joe that came into my life. The growth and changes have been fast, furious and life giving. Focus has been primarily on my relationship and myself care has been on the back burner. Bless my man, he encourages me to take a bath or to take care of myself.  Sometimes I am so filled with anxiety to stop and just Be sometimes but know it’s very important for myself as well as my relationship. I am finally taking heed and getting back to the whole me!

I am slowly learning self care. I have always known the value of self care even if not always practiced. Old habits I tend to fall back on like helping others before myself. Habits of ok I’ll drop everything for “you” and forget what I had planned. Or not planning enough “me” time activities or just fun which sometimes I forget to have cause I take life too seriously at times.

Here is what I am finally doing to honor and value myself:

Working Out and Eating Better- I really I feel awesome AFTER I get of the treadmill for a half hour. Getting there even though it is steps from work can be a challenge after a busy day but find it calms and distresses me. The food of which I am making a conscious effort to put more organic or living food in my body as well as taking my vitamins really has an effect on how my brain and stress levels are. Not that I don’t have goodies like chocolate cake or a nice raspberry beer but am now really understand the words -treat and moderation.

Quiet Time- Away from the addictive  Internets, TV, radio, or even books. Distractions are good but not when the inner self wants time to give you ideas, to solve problems or just relax and chill from the busyness of the world.

Writing- Journal writing and poetry are some of my mental outlets that help me listen to my inner self.

Reading with Action-Not just reading but putting into practice the ideas that speak truth to me as well as getting me off the know-it-all-horse and humbly move forward in action to change my life.

Bath Time-taking a hot bath just for myself nothing but the bubbles to keep me company, ok ducky you can come too but no splashing.

Taking Up New Hobbies-Knitting: I always admired others art with the duel needle and now slowly and surely am getting the hang of it.

Learning  Clarity-Taking time to be quiet and really getting clear about what I really really really want out of life. Taking away the scattered things on my list in my head and owning one thing at a time.

____

New blog mission: This blog will be a place where people can get fresh content, ideas, suggestions and reviews for self improvement and self acceptance in all areas of life. Becoming, Being and Beyond! I hope with the new changes and my new commitment to the blog I hope my regular readers will get more out of it’s content, as well as, attract new readers to  join the journey with ideas, suggestions, and community.

Love and Hugs,

Jen

Pretty In Pink!

Finding myself again is an interesting process. Self/Personality/Intimate nature has been either locked away or hidden by fear of past pain or what it I lose something if I speak my truth. I am taking the rewarding approach by not condemning myself for my self imposed prison or self inflection of “I should have done this a long time ago.” Part of finding myself again is reclaiming my fem-fatal nature. I back in the day, I took pride in myself and enjoyed my girl-ness. I can’t say I was a make-up wearer everyday but enjoyed the comical outfits I put together or ones that showed my legs. Those physical characteristics that said to the outer world I care about myself. I am returning to said creature and even attempting the *gasp* what I have never done before, which is wear make-up everyday. My Feme transformation back to self also include self care of beauty, mind, heart and soul. All for later posts.
Fear of rejection, fear of being uninteresting has always kept me from that route of dating in a normal sense. Bizarre, since I can have great conversations with total strangers and I know their whole life story and they sometimes barely catch my name. I am learning that not everyone is interested in other people as I am. That is ok. I also learned from an old friend that maybe I need to be more interested in myself and express that a bit more without the shadow worried that it maybe exposed.
Strangest are my various loves of people or hobbies have come in and out and in again into my life. I am seeking a purpose driven life in a NON-Rick Warren way. Cautious because when I am engaged in someone else or something else I tend to lose myself to the detriment of myself and others. I am very open to those who have been in my inner circle for ages and trust that they are interested the words that come out of my mouth but for newer people I am coy and mysterious. I am falling in love with myself now to change that. Without all this being about me, me, and me in conversation I would like to contribute my true self to others without a wall. Slowly I hope I am getting there. 1st my make-up….