Spiritual Endeavor

Photo by aussiegall

I found a great blog that resonated with me on working on myself it is called Secrets of Her Success and in it the  author Darcy Volden Hoag wrote about a personal experiment about making a 30-Day Commitment to herself. Her journey of commitment was to quell procrastination and push through fear. This is currently really inspiring for numerous reasons.

I generally lack a commitment to myself. Other’s probably notice how many times I have started an exerise program or school. Marathon and degree seeking I have yet to complete. In spite of the voices in my head or my guides telling me others are unhealthy for me. My old pattern is to commit to others. This is due to various reasons (ie co-dependence/wanting to be liked/afraid to make a commitment to myself). Darcy’s blog plus my own personal transformation that is on going has inspired to commit to at least one thing to do for 30 days. I tend to over commit and use busy work or distractions like internet or taking care of others to procrastinate on the stuff I really need to do.

I really need to become healthier, monetize my blog or make clear decisions, period, about what I want in my life. God forbid if I make a decision that I isn’t good so I don’t commit so I don’t flake out later on myself. HUH so I forgot that its ok to course correct if something isn’t working in my plan/goal/decision.

For the longest time I would never commit to working out because I would give other people my time and made people a priority over myself. Sad but many of us do this for reasons listed above or not really feeling worthy of committing to ourselves. As if its selfish to go to Zumba! …which I absolutely fell in love with recently.

Starting today:

• I commit to tracking all the food n drink I take in to help me see where I need to change my diet for weight loss. I aim to take in about 1200 to 1400 calories per day and commit to exercise twice a week for and hour.
• I commit  to meditate 5 min twice a day morning and night.
• I commit to increase readership of my blog my connecting with one new person or increase my Spiritual Endeavor Facebook group page.

If you would like to join me on a 30-day commitment journey please comment and we can support each other along our quest to regain our personal integrity to ourselves.

Love and Hugs,

Jen

UPDATES GALORE!!!

I am heading to Panama in December 2010. My first trip out of the country. I am very excited and hope you join me on my adventures. There will be a bit of tweeking the blog’s visuals and content..Stay tuned!

Many thanks for use of this photo By HelloMokona

On to my current lessons on how I am being schooled by life. Yeah there is a feeling of Good, Bad and Blah but its all positive since it is sending me on my journey with new ideas, tools, and experiences in my pocket for long road of life ahead.

A year has passed, and one LTR has ended-amicably. Now for the first time in over a year and a half or more if you count before I met my last love I am focusing on the future of my life I find myself awakening to my lessons that abound from that relationship and from my previous 33 years on Earth.

Here is the data so far:
RELATIONSHIP WITH SELF- This is how I enjoy my self, how interested in my own wishes, dreams, goals, self love (te-he) and so on are directly reflected in the outer world experiences of relationships of all kinds. Friendships not excluded.

Friends/Romantic partners see me in a certain way. Some of those relationships evolved in contrast to how I take care or feel about myself. Some love me more than others some demand that I take care of my self more and others are oblivious to how I take care of myself. The point being here the level of intimacy my personal relationship have are in direct correlation to how intimate and close I am with myself.

HAPPINESS-I have learned a great deal about the abstract that is happiness. One thing I learned is that it has to come from within or I/Anyone will be perpetually unhappy no matter what gifts are offered to him or her. Happiness is a choice but it also can not come from outside circumstances. This means your personal happiness is not determined by outside influences. For example someone says you are super awesome or a piece of garbage you can chose to not be burdened by someone else’s opinion of you if it does not reflect your true inner feeling about yourself.

LOVE-Being in love with someone is never enough to hold a relationship together. It does take two people to continue to choose each other daily. Holding on too tight will almost always crush what love is present. With open arms and hands and that freedom is what keeps love fresh and alive. I am not talking about threesomes or open relationships but freedom to be yourself as well as have separate space and time. Some people enjoy every breath of each other, while others need more distance in time and proximity from each other to see the contrast and value of the other. Neither is right or wrong just a understanding of each persons needs to help the flower of love grow.

NEEDS- I learned that it is very important to ask another what they need in order for the other person to feel loved and I should get the same respect in return. Some people enjoy words of flattery, others actions or interest or curiosity bestowed on a beloved. Learn what your counterpart needs,  don’t just give them what you need. Understanding the mirror of relationships helps you figure out you but in healthy relationships this mirror is a two way street.

COMMUNICATION and TRUST- The two most important items for healthy relations ever invented. Cave man grunts showing that he wants to watch tv after work to unwind…Cave woman has a need to chat about the foraging or that she is upset that cave man is cranky all the time but doesn’t know why…Communicating needs, issues, and being fully commited to the process of being a healthy participant in the relationship is a necessity. Trusting your partner will open up and be honest when speaking of needs or criticism is crucial to keep resentment, anger, or a life time of unhappiness or the death of a relationship will occur.

I hope you Love Big, Love Often, but most importantly learn about what you your personal needs are in order to feel loved and give that to yourself as well as asking your partner to do their part in adding to your happiness. After you have loved yourself again and again the bonus of the cuddling with your sweetie will become even more sweet knowing that you always had everything you ever needed to feel loved, inside of you. You just needed to give that to her(him).

Post Script-Self respect and calling out those who disrespect and devalue you can be liberating if not done just to validate your hurt feelings but actually awaken parts of you that need to reemurge. Talking  back personal power, claiming dignity for one’s self is one of the most important things in the world for self love. Living with integrity and keeping the personal ego in check can and will bring in healthier and healthier relationships the more you get to know and treat yourself to a cup of tea and some care.

Love and Hugs

Jen