Spiritual Endeavor

Photo by _marmota

I’ve been reading one of my favorite blogs of a crafter that I follow. Be Present Be Here brought me to tears just now. I have held back all month when I could but couldn’t contain it anymore. The blogger wrote about how an encounter with an old lady at the supermarket almost brought her to tears and that made me cry. She has lost her grandma . . . not like she wandered off but passed away. A few years ago my mom passed away as well. It’s an odd time of year and I totally understand the loneliness and reasons behind the high suicide rate of the holiday season. Various reasons: missing those who have passed on. Missing those who are far away. Missing those who are near but feel far away in emotional connection and proximity. Feeling like there is nobody to love or to be loved by!

The time of year when, if one has a small family and few close friends, it feels at times bitter more than sweet. Those who complain about how awful their families are may feel the grass is greener without the drama of big family, but I wish for a big family. One made by loins and by hearts tied together in friendship. I am lucky, even if I sometimes feel like I’m outside looking in on someone else’s party, that tonight two of my single girlfriends are hanging out at my house. One I live with and the other is an old friend whose family is dispersed in various directions.

I sometimes forget that in order to have family I have to create it. This means getting out in the dating world for real, meeting new positive, loving friends who will be a solid support system and want to partake in a life with me punctuated with daily, weekly, and/or festive or monthly communions.

I miss my mom, that is very true! I miss having more of family/friends and more traditions that are built in my life. After hearing a show I listen to on Hay House Radio by Dr. Mona Lisa, I’ve decided I need to impart more joyous activity and community into my life. By watching a funny movie, creating a group, or adding hobbies to my monthly schedule will add much more happiness to my life.

I am grateful to have all I do, my small family and a small group of people who think of me—even when it’s not a holiday. I am blessed!

Much Love and Hugs,

Jen

Misfit Dolly

Updates from the past 3 or so months would bore you all to tears, so I am going to say one word. CHANGE!

The word makes me inherently antsy and sometimes for no good reason. I pride myself on having a cool exterior with bouts of hyperactive joy, but underneath I can be super-tense and worked up with no one the wiser! My basket of change has been of change I wanted and change I fear will come. The last bit is really silly since The Present is the only thing we truly have until, oh wait, it’s gone. I am glad I didn’t fret about that last second. Now if I could just let go and let it flow each and every second!

Obviously the world is changing, toward the good, I hope. (I am optimistic even if it can be scary.) The current situations/systems are in upheaval and we cannot see the full outcome. The not-so-ethical and nefarious are being dethroned and the sheep are learning to think or take responsibility for themselves. Not always fun but dang gun it’s exciting! Oh, what a time to be blessed to be alive. We obviously are here at this time for our own and global conscious purpose even if we don’t understand the unfolding and our own part in the puzzle yet.

A friend at work gave me a Misfit Dolly. She still loved her, but she thought it would be fun to bring us 3 misfits in our batcave, a present. A reminder that we have our own island where we take care of each other at least with fun, food, and emotional support. If you want a reference to Misfit Dolly, tune into Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer this holiday season and see the misfit toys sing and dance to be saved by Rudolf and Santa!

Randomness ensues~ the only message I have currently is to myself and all those that need to hear it.

I am Divinely guided and protected. Where I am today is all perfect, whole, and complete. Where I am is where I need to be. Where I am going is where I will be when I am ready to serve with my full value and love. All is well in my world!

Love and Hugs,
Jen