Spiritual Endeavor

Beauty of age and wisdom by ftbester

This post is inspired by Steve and Erin Pavlina of Steve Pavlina’s Personal Development Blog. Both of these bloggers love to share their insights to help others who seek to enhance their personal and spiritual development. I would suggest browsing their pages and I am sure you will glean more than a tiny bit of insight from their prose.

This is my road map to being a woman. I know by the time I am ready to rest my body and move on to the next world, I will have become a woman fully. Can someone say Oprah! Oprah is a woman I aspire to be very much like. I know there are many women who are behind the scenes who showcase what being a woman is all about, and I hope to meet them and learn from them as well.

Being a woman is a process one undertakes unconsciously at first. Even if womanhood, in a medical sense, arrives early, it isn’t cultivated until life challenges this Pretty Young Thing beyond superficiality, where the meat of owning her own self is accomplished.

A woman is not afraid of being challenged by her friends, her mate, or even her family. Argh! God love them, some are our best teachers even when they make living a challenge.

A woman knows how to laugh at herself. She can enjoy a good joke and life is jovial. Seriousness can be put aside to enjoy a moment of pure tears-out-the-eyes laughter, about herself and her world.

A woman takes full responsibility for her choices, positive and negative. No blaming others or her childhood, no buts about it. As she becomes wiser she understands how ALL of her choices, conscious or unconscious, affect others. A woman looks at herself and her cohorts honestly. She doesn’t BS herself on how she really feels, doesn’t hide, and owns up to being hurt. A woman doesn’t try to manipulate herself or others in order to save face. She is willing to own up to her transgressions. She is willing to give praise and love in an honest way. She knows that honesty isn’t popular, especially in this day and age. Even though it may sting sometimes, I would rather be told the truth with love than fake sweetness with a hidden spoonful of hate, jealousy, or disdain.

Being a woman means keeping her word. A woman knows that when she says yes, it is a yes, not a maybe. She knows the value of not talking about her girlfriends. Gossip is a trait of young girls. Sadly many of us are still in girlhood. I have gossiped my share but a real woman told me to stop. Thanks, Syl! When we ogle at poor Britney Spears we perpetuate the sewing circle gossip that brings all the sisters down. Talking about your so-called BFFs with negativity or judgment is not what a real woman would do. Even if not done with malicious intent you are still not uplifting their or your own energy field. We have more important things to talk about, don’t we? We can talk about how our own lives and how we are contributing to the world or how we can solve problems.

A woman is someone who is powerful and strong, vulnerable and loving, honest and full of humor. If she has a problem with one of her girls, she discusses it with that girl. Not the whole neighborhood, the dog, and the mailman. She loves the people that surround her. As age and wisdom grow, her level of discernment of friends and associates becomes more refined. Like wine, good friendships and lovers will be at a taste level and maturity where she knows who is good for her and whom she loves but must send away. What is healthy for them may not be healthy for you. Real women empower other women and men to be the best they can be with love and honesty.

Being a woman is also knowing how to love herself unconditionally. Not, I love myself but my nose, my thighs, and tummy are too big. Or I don’t have a boyfriend, how can I love myself? A woman doesn’t wait for outside validation. A woman loves even her cellulite or at least is comfortable having conversations with it. She knows that the two of you (nose, thighs, etc.) will be together until the end so you might as well enjoy each other. You can change your physical, mental, and spiritual self but a woman knows that even if all is not perfect, she loves herself all the same. A woman who loves herself makes herself a priority. She helps others but realizes her tank needs to be full in order to share herself with the world. A woman breathes for herself and takes her personal time, which includes self-care without guilt or shame. She takes care of her mind, body, and spirit. She is independent but allows others to help her when she needs it. She does not need a man (or a woman for all my rainbow friends), but she may want one to add to the sparkle of her life.

Being a woman means giving birth to ideas, seeds of creativity, and spirituality. This can include giving birth to children, but that is not a requirement of being a woman. A woman can rear her concepts and ideals with love, understanding, and trust. Her abilities will showcase her spark and gifts of Spirit when bringing her ideas to the world.

Being a woman means owning her sexuality. She knows the power she holds within her bosom, really her being, and uses it with grace. Her sexuality isn’t used as a weapon of manipulation for neediness of love. She deserves to be treated well and a woman knows how to chose suitors who honor her and share her sexuality in a passionate and romantic way, not like a 7-11 that is always open. A woman knows her own body; she commands respect and shows affection to those who are worthy. A woman doesn’t mistreat her body by not protecting it from STDs and guys who just want a piece. She is like a fine sherry. Taken down less frequently by random strangers, she is well worth the wait and when she finds the right man to partake in her yumminess, all is well in the world.

Being a woman means being confident in doing things without others. She goes to the movies, vacations, and eats dinner alone if she chooses. She may enjoy the company of others but she is not shamed by going it alone and enjoys her own company nearly as much.

A woman knows when to fight for a cause and when to rest on an issue. Not everything has to be war. In addition, not everything has to be other people’s design or wishes. A woman has a voice, an opinion, and isn’t afraid to share even at risk of being burned at the stake for making a mark in the world.

A woman knows her babies (ideas, children, friends) need to fly on their own. She will always be there when they need her, especially if they break a wing. However painful it is to let go, she knows how to build up her babies so they can once again leave the nest.

This among many things makes a complete woman. There may be things that I have missed. I ask that you send them my way, so I can add them to my list so by the time I do end this life, I will have fully lived as a woman.

Love and Hugs,
Jen