Spiritual Endeavor

The Divine, Source, God, The Universe, The highest form of energy in existence, Love are all my definitions of God. Bigger than everything that humans can imagine or fathom. I know that God loves everything ever created, larger like a Universe and smaller than a quarks and leptons for all those physics lovers. Love as a bigger concept, not only human love, romantic or even mother/child love but that of the highest vibrational energy within the Universe. This love at a practical and smaller frame of reference is how we treat ourselves, (manifestations of God), and how we treat others (other manifestations of God, People, Things, Matter, Earth, Plants) For our purposes lets keep this discussion around the planet known as Earth. Save the Empire! LOL

To label God limits the Truth of ALL THAT IS. As Kierkegaard stated “If you label me you negate me.” The label emits an idea that gets fixed in the mind as if God HAS TO BE a certain way. In that sense when we label God, Man or Mother/Father we miss all the parts of God we aren’t seeing. This concept is so much more than a man named Jesus if you are so inclined, or a man in the sky that looks at us with love, IT is so much more than a humanistic view. God can not be contained nor should IT. Every person on Earth even those whom people call evil have a piece of God or Spirit in them. Most times those who harm others are just living their ego needs and not seeing the bigger picture where everything one does, thinks, feels effects every person and thing vibrationally. If they really had true knowledge on how Awesome their power to effect is, they might think twice about doing harm.

Perfection is not the goal here or else life would get pretty boring. However, learning and growing not to be in ego and to think from a HIGHER Loving perspective is. By trying to see how we create in the broad and small in our world we can move more into a God-Like existence.

Taking this another step further to self love. I can speak for the many times I do not honor my own self and how I have treated myself poorly. I have treated myself like someone I didn’t like. This is in fact crazy, but many of us do it all the time. Sometimes without a thought and sometimes with intent to harm ourselves. My own journey has taken me from care taker of others, binge eater, self loather and not owning my emotions and likes for fear of rejection. This life is a process and although I am more well adjusted and “healthy” than I have been, life still tests my self love everyday.

As my transformation continutes I hope to inspire or let others know they are never alone!

Love and Hugs,
Jen

I say this for a few reasons. It’s not because I believe in a boogie man figure whom pushes me to perfectionism or makes me think I am fat, lazy and a bad person. Personally I don’t believe that blaming outside forces is a good use of my God energy. In addition this blaming puts my personal responsibility for my thoughts or actions on something other than myself, like this figure of negativity.

*Caveat, if you do have voices in your head beside your own I would suggest two things: 1) Seek mental help. I can’t speak for other intuitives but other voices that are not your own shouldn’t be in your head. That doesn’t mean you won’t feel, hear or see guides but it is obviously different than a negative protagonist that speaks to you in a negative way. 2) You may be tuning into lower astral riffraff. This lower energy isn’t really able to harm you however “they” try to confuse which is a part of that energies goal. I For the most part am the causal affect of negative mental noise or self hate. I will do a post later on with more information on psychic attack. You can tell these “voices” are lower energies or your own negative self talk by checking in with your Higher Self and noticing whether the thoughts are of the Agape/Loving thoughts or consistent habitual thought processes that most people have. A good way to change your self talk is to check in and refer to what God/Loving Vibration would say to you about such issues. I am sorry for the tangent and I digress. *

The point of this post is to get you to think about why we are perfectionist and how to change the thinking that makes it so tempting to put all this pressure upon oneself. Mind you this is not a license to not to do your best and give your projects, relationships and life your all. However, letting go of perfectionism will give you a level of peace and help release insecurities of holding the need to be perfect which we all no is impossible.

This devil of perfectionism can be placed in out heads by parental, societal and moral pressures. This can manifest by trying to being Super Woman or Man and taking on more than we can chew as well as not wanting to disappoint people. This can cause self hate when we don’t do or say all of what WE expect others are expecting from us. Most people are in their own world, generally thinking about their own insecurities and only expect things that are from their reference point. Most of the time unless you are intimately relating you will not know their expectations and really you shouldn’t worry about it any way.

That said, quelling perfectionism is an on going process like correcting false ideas about what the “shoulds” are in your life. Please take it down a notch, have fun and live by your own honor code not by someone else’s.

Love and Hugs

Jen

I am an over thinker, not necessarily worrier but I think till the cows, chickens and horses come home. Habitually not always with constructive thoughts. I am also an emotional absorber, an intuitive and generally emotional. I cry at movies, puppies being hurt and cry when I empathize which is all to often. I am also stoic at times as if to protect myself from feeling. For example when I am problem solving, or if I have to much on my plate as if I can’t be concerned with emotions when I need to pay my rent. I will let off steam by crying but or getting angry at myself or an object. Damn you chair, I kill you! LOL I was speaking to a friend recently and it hit me that I still have stuff that I need to deal with. LOL A shocker right?!! I am still human and breathing. LOL Sometimes its easy to forget to check in with myself and ask how am I doing, are those feelings my feelings or are they someone else’s, can I do better next time without the negative self talk?

How do I not go crazy? Sometimes I let the crazy out. I will drive around in my car and scream. Sometimes I dance out my issues or just give myself ME time to cry, think, or just BE! That can be challenging with life and people in it drawing attention away from myself. It is so hard for someone like myself who thrive when people need me. I know it is never selfish to take ME time. Without it one can continue to be lost within themselves and then happiness is always elusive.

Happy Birthday to ME!

On the eve of my 31st birthday I am happy with how far I have come as a human, mistakes and all. I know I have many things I want to do and become and why not start some of them this year. I know for sure my 2008 will include more ME time for myself, even if it’s 10 minutes more a day. Nothing so drastic as everyone in my phone will be deleted. (Sorry friends I will see you when I am done with ME time.) LOL By making my needs important and tuning into my higher self and my ego self so I can give more of who I really am to my loved ones and to life as a whole.

Much love and hugs,

Jen

When I walk around it is sometimes shocking to me to see nearly everyone with a device in their ear, be it a cell phone or mp3 player. When I was a kid there weren’t all this stuff to have on our person. If you wanted to hear music someone on the block would have a boom box or you might have a cassette player or gosh forbid the radio. I am not super old but at nearly 31 I am old enough to notice that there may be a disconnect with users now a days. Mind you I love technology and it is a great tool when used properly. I think it is funny how many people now a days instead of talking to someone next to them they are hungrily looking for a new track or checking their email or calling someone who they just spoke with 5 minutes ago but not interact with the world around them. I know there are many people that just hate to be alone with themselves. God forbid one should have a thought of their own as it may say something one needs to hear. I for one enjoy times when there isn’t constant noise from the outside. I then have to deal the noise on the inside and that is work! I think technology has gotten us closer and further away from real interaction. I like the fact I can stay in touch with friends in another country, Hi Bobby!! However I still enjoy hanging out with my peeps or getting to know new peeps in a more intimate way. E-mail and text are not intimate! You can say intimate things on occasion, some that may even get you fired but not real human contact. I bet the tech world would really have human interaction if it had smelly vision. Real life is smelly, funny, gross, sexy and tasty. Isn’t that what life is all about?

Very few things scare me, however, last night a guy in my neighborhood was screaming and shooting off about 5 rounds. I pray into the air, but I am not sure. My oh smart roommate, went to the window to see the commotion. That is not the time to be curious. I didn’t go into panic mode but getting her away from windows and making sure our door was locked was a priority. Calling the police was next. It got me thinking and praying about where we are in the world today. Here are some stats via the Department of Justice on gun violence.

In what world does anger justify fire arms? If I was a mother and harm came to my child would that justify it? If I was beaten and abused? If I was protecting myself from an assailant? It’s a strange world we live in where it’s almost common place when gun shots are outside your house and you can go on about your day as if nothing happened. It’s sad. It is difficult when you don’t have control of other people’s harmful behavior. I think it is my job to try my darnedest to be as “God like” as possible. I only have control over my own actions, thoughts and emotions after all. What I put out in the world I get back. It sure isn’t easy when some driver is pissing me off to stay cool and not say the automatic, curse the idiot. I guess the experiment in life is to try to give love and good energy out and when something not so “good” happens try to turn that around in ones mind to find the humor or hope. Not repeating the negative behavior in small and large ways would be good as well. Hope is important to have especially in times that are challenging like these. There is proof there is good in the world and even if there are people who aren’t conscious or thoughtful of others there are many more who are. I am Pollyanna and naive at times, but it’ my hope that we as humans will evolve where violence isn’t as causal as it seems today.

Sending loving kindness to all who have felt negative violent acts in large and small ways today.

Namaste, Love, and Hugs,

Jen

I come from the school of thought that all paths lead to God. My mom had always given me choice when it came to my personal spirituality. Mind you, I am sure from just being her daughter I was apt to be more open than the next cat, as she studied and challenged her own beliefs at a deafening pace. I was given the opportunity at very young age say 5 or 6, to pick and choose for myself. My mom understood the premium of free will and the strong importance it was to teach choice. I was offered a chance at going to Sunday School, I took it. A woman my Mom knew was taking me. That didn’t last very long, as the woman died, and it was on to the next spiritual endeavor. I was exposed to many philosophies Christianity primarily Protestant and Catholicism, Gnostic and Essene teachings, Eckankar, Transcendental Meditation, Yoga, Science of Mind, and later on via my brother and other channels, Zen and Tibetan philosophies in Buddhism, Hinduism and Jewish Kabbalah and Metaphysics.

Needless to say I had a lot to choose from. At times these opportunities of choice were a blessing and curse. Some years all I wanted was a institution or a set of rules to follow to make me feel more connected, to have a sense of belonging or even a feeling of righteousness. At times I was comforted knowing that the meat of God was always accessible within my soul and not by teachings that didn’t resonate truth for me. I now appreciate and feel connected more by being challenged by all my experiences and my personal quest into the feeling universe. For me, the dogma aspect of religions mask the truth behind the original teachings. I do think religion and institutions have their place but I do not think that God says one doorway or access point to me or I will delete you from my “Heart”. That doesn’t compute for me! My beliefs are based in trial and error, faith as well as, study. I am a believer that every piece of energy (the space in between the energy, as well) in the universe is a subsection of God, Consciousness or Source. Whatever label you want to put on it, it is All There Is. I am happy to know that I am a speckle in this wondrous outcrop of physical reality. This doesn’t take away the fact that I can manifest this energy into a personal God that I can talk to, cry to or even scream at. I also know that God in human experience can barely be fathomed in its Wholeness by the logical mind and I am ok not knowing everything at this moment. Well, at least some of the time

I could go on and on but I will let this simmer.

Love and Hugs
Jen